The You Of Yore
by Almandine-Azaleea
Summary: Kagome gets to see Inuyasha as she has never seen him before. Chapter 26: It is time.
1. Awakening

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

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**Awakening**

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"Inuyasha..." The words filtered through his hazy mind. The voice...he should have known the voice... 

"Inuyasha.." It became more and more insistent. Who was it...? He tried opening his eyes. Everything was hazy. What _had_ happened?

His head was spinning- figures only just starting to come into focus. Reality hit at full force then and he bolted up. He didn't know this room - the smells were unfamiliar, odd...and who were those people?

"Inuyasha...relax...lie down..." that voice again.

The person to whom the voice belonged was a girl – a pretty girl with long, black hair, lively brown eyes and a cute button nose. She looked very kind, and she smelled beautiful! But he didn't know this girl. He scrunched up his face. She wasn't a bad person, but...

"Inuyasha...lie down, you're gonna feel bad if you don't." Her little hands came to push softly against him and he complied.  
He took the time to sort out his surroundings. As far as he could tell there was only one other person in the room – someone he could recognise to be youkai; kitsune, though. He whimpered. Youkai generally wanted to hurt him or worse, and although he couldn't smell any anger or desire to hunt from this one, he didn't want to get hurt.

"What's wrong Inuyasha?" The girl asked again.

"Please...don't hurt me..." Perhaps, if he asked nicely they would let him go.

"Hurt you...?" She sounded genuinely surprised.

"We wouldn't hurt you Inuyasha." She spoke in a small voice.

"Only when you deserve it! Like when you steal my pocky!!" He recognised this to be the kitsune and instantly the fear returned three-fold. His fingers gripped the blanket until his claws bit into his palms and a keening whine escaped his throat.

"Kagome...there's something wrong with Inuyasha...he looks like he's seen a ghost..."

"Shippou-chan...could you leave us a moment...? Tell Sango and Miroku not to come in either. Please?"

"Kagome..." He looked at Inuyasha then nodded. "I'll be outside."

"Thank you."

Inuyasha watched him go with great relief. Then the terror returned. If she was strong enough to command a youkai, what would she do to him?

"Inuyasha..." she was looking straight at him and he panicked, letting another whine escape him. A basic white flag pleading with her not to hurt him. She placed her hand over his and opened his clenched fist. A scent of sadness hit him then, radiating from her like heat from a furnace.  
He stared in awe as she took in the sight of his bleeding palm and then kissed it gently even as the tears were beginning to heal.

"What's wrong Inuyasha...why did you do this?" Tears were shining in her eyes and he felt his stomach become leaden. She was crying for him; like his mother had done when...

"Don't cry! Please lady Kagome...don't..." His voice was small – a far-cry from his usual brashness.

"L-l-lady..." She looked shocked.

"I'm sorry...you...I thought...well...umm miss Kagome...? Or are you a queen? A princess?"

She stared at him incredulously.

"Inuyasha..." he flinched "I am your _friend_...Kagome...don't you remember?"

He stood up slightly to look at her then shook his head regretfully.

"I don't remember...and besides" he looked down "I don't have any friends...no-one wants to be the friend of a half-breed..."

Her arms came and wrapped around him then. He was surprised she fit in his arms...surely she wasn't that young...? She seemed to be only about 16 summers - 17 maybe - and human. He was older than her by a few years or so...but in terms of growth he was her junior by at least eight or nine years.  
She held him tight and he took the chance to examine himself. His hands were bigger, definitely more so than what he remembered them to be, and the little creases in the blanket that told him where his feet were farther away than what he was used to.  
What _had_ happened to him?

"You're shaking...Are you cold?" Kagome asked.

"Where am I...?"

"Kaede's hut." she eyed him suspiciously. "Inuyasha...when is my birthday?"

He looked at her like a trapped deer.

"Why are you afraid?"

"B-b-b-because...I don't want to anger you...and I don't remember how I got here..."

"You were fighting a demon, he hit you on the head..."

"You saved me...?"

"Miroku took him with Kazaana."

"Who is Miroku?"

That was when she knew something was terribly wrong.

"You don't remember Miroku...? How about Sango?"

He shook his head.

"All I remember is hunting for some food, then I fell, and I woke up here."

"Food...?"

"Yeah...since mother died I feed myself" He explained.

"Mother...when...?"she sounded shocked.

He looked down.

"I don't know...the day...I think eight moons yonder."

"Eight...?"

He nodded.

"And do you know someone named Kikyoo...?"

Again he shook his head.

"Oh, Inuyasha..." she brought him close to her again and held him tight, as she would a child. He felt warm, and safe. Her scent was swirling around him comfortingly.

"I'm tired..." he managed to mumble before she laid him back on his pillow kissing his forehead.

"Sleep Inuyasha. I'll guard over you."

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	2. Reacquaint

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

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**Reacquaint**

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"A...what?" 

"Amnesia, Shippou-chan. It means he can't remember."

"This is a grave situation, indeed, Kagome-sama."

"What do you intend to do, Kagome-chan?"

"Take him home...he shouldn't be worrying about demon attacks now. He seems to have forgotten the better part of most of his life, including his battle-skills. I wouldn't risk it."

"It sounds like a good idea...but how long do you think it will take...? To recover, I mean?"

She sighed.

"I don't know Miroku-sama...anything from two days to years. I just don't know. It depends how much of his brain was affected...The only way we can tell that is by taking them to the hospital, but he's a demon, so I don't know how I'll be able to do that..."

"Hospital...is the recovery place you go to for treating injury, yes?"

She nodded.

"Oh...he just has to pull through." Her voice was not as convincing as she has wanted it to be.

"Kagome-chan..."

"Inuyasha will be fine!" Shippou piped up in his squeaky voice. "After all there ain't much brain he can lose anyway...and besides, his head is too hard. You'll see. He'll be back in no time."

A smile poked at Kagome's face for the first time in days.

"Thank you Shippou-chan." she cuddled the little kit. "But, for now...until Inuyasha feels better I'd like you – all of you – to give him some space. He doesn't seem to trust anyone, and he barely tolerated me. I don't want to upset him any more than is necessary."

Everyone nodded.

"It's just...while he is like this he may panic, and strike out, and..."

"Of course, Kagome-sama. You are the one in possession of most knowledge about his injury; we will follow your judgment."

"Kagome...I think you should go see Inuyasha."

"Is he awake?"

Shippou nodded.

"Okay. Sango, may I please borrow Kirara? The faster I get Inuyasha to my time the less chance of another youkai-encounter."

"Of course, Kagome-chan. Kirara?"

A mewl of acquiescence was given.

"It's decided then. We leave tonight."

It was still light outside when he awoke. He was alone this time. His head was pounding and parts of his body were throbbing. He gingerly lifted his head only to become dizzy and be forced to set it back down. Suddenly that strange yet oddly calming scent invaded the room again and the weird-dressed girl appeared in his line of vision.  
He would have tried running, but he knew it to be futile.

"How are you feeling?" Her voice almost made the pain disappear.

" 'Kay."

"Say...how would you feel if I were to take you home...with me? Away from here?"

His eyes snapped to her.

"Y-you mean you won't tell my big brother?"

"Tell him what?"

"T-that you found me..."

"No. Why would I do that?"

He closed his eyes.

"Never mind."

"Can you move?"

He didn't answer, and it took Kagome a while to realize it was because he was trying to do so.

"It's okay. It's okay. Relax. You had a tough battle."

"I'm fine!"

She smiled.

"Yes, you are, but I'll help you anyway, shall I?"

He stared at her searching for some sort of flaw in her logic and finding none he nodded shyly. She helped him rise, and led him to Kirara. He stopped in shock, the look on his face suggesting that he expected to be mauled.

"This is Kirara. She won't hurt you."

"But...I'm a half-breed..."

Kirara purred and nuzzled his cheek taking advantage of his inability to move. The surprise and awe that creeped onto his face made everyone's hearts miss a beat.

"Inuyasha." He approached. "You get better now, you hear! Don't make Kagome unhappy!"

"You...don't think I should be dead?" Inuyasha's eyes suddenly rivaled a child's, in their innocence.

For the first time since his parents had died every hair on Shippou's body bristled.

"You' re dumb if you think that!" Inuyasha flinched. "I, Shippou, of the Kitahou kitsune clan am your brother in all but blood." He announced regally.

Kagome and Miroku stared, not quite sure what to make of it, while Sango's eyes began watering.

"You..accept...me?"

"You, and I are...brothers." He hugged the poor boy, marvelling at how strange it was to feel Inuyasha shake like that.

"When you feel better, come back to us."

Miroku and Sango nodded in agreement, while Kagome picked up Shippou and cuddled him.

"Thank you, Shippou-chan."

"Let's go, Kirara." She wrapped her arms tightly around Inuyasha and with one last wave to their friends, they were off.

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The climb up the stairs was particularly taxing for both Kagome and Inuyasha; they walked into the house and headed for the seats in the kitchen. Inuyasha's eyes were frantically darting to all the things that appeared new to him. 

"Hi Kagome, dear. You're home." With a smile, Kagome's mother walked into the kitchen. "Hello, Inuyasha." She moved to twitch his ears.

"Mom, don't!" Kagome barely managed to get her warning out before a growl erupted from Inuyasha's throat. "Mom...Inuyasha got hurt, protecting me...he has amnesia...please tell Jii-chan. I don't want him to do anything to upset him." She whispered in the hope that Inuyasha's hearing would be slightly dulled by the condition - she wanted to explain what was affecting him in detail later on. Mrs Higurashi nodded, but approached Inuyasha once again.

"Hi. I'm Aya, Kagome's mother. I hope you'll feel better soon."

More confusion flooded his eyes – a quiet disbelief at Aya's genuine kindness. Satisfied that he was in good hands Kagome went to unload her bag and change into more comfortable clothes.  
Aya patted Inuyasha's head in a gesture meant to soothe him.

"Aya...-sama." He decided it was safer to stick with polite suffixes lest he insult her. "Thank you for having me over. I apologise for imposing upon your time."

She smiled and shook her head. "We're all family here."

If his eyes became any bigger, she decided, they would fall right out of his head.

"You protect my daughter, now it is merely a time for you to be protected. And please, just Aya will do."

He bowed his head slightly, in reply.

"Now, Inuyasha, are you hungry? Shall I get you a drink?"

"Y-y-you...serve...me?"

"Of course. You are family after all."

She didn't get much further – Kagome returned just in time to see her grandfather trying to mock-exorcise a terrified looking Inuyasha who lashed out the moment the salt touched him.

"Jii-chan!"

Inuyasha in a panicked reaction had swatted him away, no doubt unaware of his own strength, throwing the old man nearly half-way across the room, and in a split second his face went from terrified to aghast and ashamed. He turned and fled. Kagome was surprised that he could still move, but attributed the sudden agility to the fact that he had felt threatened.

"Mom, I'm going after Inuyasha."

Her mother turned teary eyes to her. "I'm sorry, Kagome. He just came in, you know how he is."

"I know." And she was gone.

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"Inuyasha!" 

There was no way he could have gone too far with his injuries.

"Inuyasha!"

She hoped she would find him before having to say the incantation.

"Inu-"

He was huddled behind the Goshinboku, knees drawn to his chin and eyes downcast.

"There you are."

"Forgive me!" He burst out.

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault."

"It...it was going to hurt...but then it didn't...and I...forgive me Kagome-sa...Kagome."

She drew him close and held him like a child.

"I don't understand Inuyasha, but I do know that my grandfather provoked you. You defended yourself, that's all. From now on, though, just know that grandpa...he is a little strange, but his sutras and salt and magic never work on you, alright? So don't raise hand to him again, even if he behaves like today. I'll have a talk with him, okay? What he did wasn't nice, but he's been doing that since you first came to our house – in a way it has become your entertainment, and he didn't know..."

"So, you're not angry...?"

"No. You didn't know any better. Now, you do, and I trust you won't do this again, yes?"

"He won't hurt me...? Last time people tried to purify it hurt. I know I should be a big boy and pretend it doesn't but..."

She kissed the crown of his head.

"Go on, you can tell me..."

"My mother died a few months ago...the villagers tried to purify me. It really hurt. The salt burned. They locked me in a cellar and starved me and said that they wouldn't let me out because I was a half-breed. I didn't know what that meant...so I apologised thinking it was something I did...then big-br..."

He was silenced by the plopping of warm tears on his hair.

"Inuyasha, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Kagome...?" She was so upset with him she was crying? He didn't understand why his heart lurched at the thought, but brought his arms up to comfort her, completely surprised when they circled her form completely.

"I'll talk to Jii-chan. Let's go inside for now." She kissed his hair again.

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Dinner was a silent affair; Inuyasha was too afraid to talk in case he made another mistake, Kagome was mulling over what he had said, while her mother and Souta were contemplating the implications of having an amnestic Inuyasha in their home. 

"Demon!"

"Jii-chan!" Kagome was furious; Inuyasha merely turned apprehensively.

"I may not like you, but you take good care of my grand-daughter. Rest assured that there will be no repeat of today's events."

"Sir...!" In a second he was prostrate at his feet in a manner so unlike him that it made Kagome's heart break.

"I apologise sincerely for having caused you any injury. I understand that a man in your position would feel offended to stay under the same room as a half-breed, and I thank you sincerely for your magna-...man-ag...magnanimi-...for your kindness in allowing me a place to sleep under your roof. I am..."

"Whoa there sonny boy."

Kagome was glad her grandfather stopped him. She honestly hadn't known Inuyasha was capable of such manners – he was a polished gentleman even by modern standards.

_Oh, Inuyasha..._What must have happened to make him lose that side of himself? What terrible things had he faced to mould him into the brash, uncouth boy she knew?

"The fault lies with me and I'll take it no other way. Now, get on up, finish your dinner, and go to bed. You've had a rough day. And don't worry about hurting me, you missed...er...anything vital. You're quite a fetching fellow now that I'm having another look at you. Were you always such a whizz with words?"

" I don't know, sir..."

"Well, it doesn't matter much. Stay here till you get better, we'll resume our battling once you're yourself again. Gotta do something around here to keep an old soul entertained."He chuckled. "Ah, I'm off to bed. Too old, these bones, to keep until the wee sma's. Good night."

A chorus of goodnights was heard before Kagome announced she and Inuyasha would also retire.

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While Kagome was helping her mother with the cleaning, Inuyasha took the initiative to go to her room. He knew well what would expect him, so he began preparing for it. His little heart was pounding so hard it sent tremors through his body, still part of his still innocent mind wanted to hold on to the hope that perhaps co-operation would mean slight leniency.He placed the switch gingerly on the bed and, upon hearing Kagome's footsteps on the stairs, he laid down, submissively. Kagome walked into the dimly moonlit room to find Inuyasha lying on the floor. She wondered if he was so tired he had fallen asleep, but then he stirred. 

"What's wrong, Inuyasha? Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"What are you doing on the floor?"

He got up and picked up something from the bed, gave it to her, then laid down again.

"Why did you just give me a stick?"

"Aren't you going to punish me?"

"What...?"

"I thought...perhaps, if I don't resist, you'll only give me twenty."

"Twenty what?"

"Hits."

"What?!!!"Her voice suddenly reached notes completely new to her.

"I'm sorry. I had no right to be so rude. I accept whatever punishment you choose to give me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

The way he had spoken, so painfully hopeful and sad at the same time, tore at Kagome's heart.

She sat down next to him and gathered him into her arms, as much as it was possible.

"Why? Why do you think I'd...?"

"You own me."

"I do not own you. Who told you that?"

"My big-brother. He said if anyone gives ever saves your life then your life becomes theirs. And you saved my life, and so...like my brother said, you own me. He knows everything! He is so great. One day I wanna grow up to be like him."

"He...told you...you...?"

"Yep! He 'splained to me what a half-breed was. Now I'm not as dumb as I was before. He taught me that half-breeds are meant to be kneeling in the dirt at true youkai's feet."

"He...he...beat...?"

"He _disciplines_ me. Half-breeds need to learn their place. He is right...but..."

Kagome didn't dare open her mouth. She didn't think it would make much of a difference if she did – she was speechless.

"I...I wish he liked me a little more. When I told him I wanted to be like him he gave me twenty. Said it was an insult to his pure-blood...but you know Kagome, I didn't mean it as an insult...I didn't know. But it's okay, I know now. I know he is trying to make me stronger by putting me through a tough training...and he misses father too. I caught him one time when he was having a bad day. I tried to make it better, really I did...I even went and managed to catch two rabbits" pride suffused his voice on this last point "but...he didn't like them. He threw them both away 'n said I was never to mention our father again. I was hungry, but he didn't even let me eat my rabbit...and he beat me. Which is okay, because I know it's just his way of dealing with the loss of our father...but...I wish...I wish he could stop hurting some other way."

He paused thoughtfully before continuing.

"I mean...it's not like he's ever done worse than the villagers. At least with him I can eat twice, three times a week...four if I'm good...and he really doesn't beat me all that much. I mean, I can still walk afterwards...and it's not like I scar anyway. But...I still ran away...which makes me bad. And big-brother isn't very forgiving...so...if you don't mind can I stay with you a while? Please? Then, when I do go back, maybe big-brother will be less mad."

"O-o-o-f course. Of course." she had problems getting even just those words past her trembling lips.

_Three...times...still walk?_

"Say, Kagome, do you think if I'm a really good boy, that Sesshomaru-nii-sama would ever like me? Despite me being a half-breed...you think? I think it would be so great! Perhaps if I'm really good from now on, and I never run away again, or cry when he beats me or disobey him, or...or...if I learn to use a sword...you think he'd like me? Say...does he like me now? I mean now...the part which you say I don't remember. Do you think? What do you think, Kagome?"

_I think that if I ever get my hands on Sesshomaru the stripes are all that's gonna be left of him...and the fluffy thing, if I'm feeling gracious._

"I think...Inuyasha is perfect the way he is."

"As a half-breed?"

"As a half-_demon._" She nuzzled his hair lightly. "Sesshoumaru shouldn't hurt you, even if his upset, or sad. And he shouldn't try to tell you you're worthless. You are wonderful. By saying you are worth nothing he is insulting your father, and lying."

"Are you saying nii-sama is wrong? But...he can't be wrong."

"Sometimes people, when they hurt they take it out on others...it doesn't make you less."

"I'm...not worthless?" The way he pondered the words, as though the thought had never occurred to him before and he was too afraid of what it would mean if it were really true, tugged even more at Kagome's heart-strings.

"I'm going to keep you with me. You're not going back to Sesshomaru. He won't beat you."

"So...he likes me now...?"

"I...can't say Inuyasha. He's saved your life...a few times." _Almost counter-balanced by the amount of times he tried to kill you, but still..._ "And...you did end up fighting together..." _Thought both in denial about doing so..._

"I think he's started to heal a bit."

"That's good. I don't want my big-brother to be upset. I hate when he's all angry, and sad – it smells terrible!"

"You can smell...moods?"

"Yup. And...he's so sad I just want to give him a hug. My mother said hugs make people all better no matter what the ail...ail...sickness. Yeah...but she was human so maybe it doesn't work on demons...But it works on me, which is strange, right Kagome? Coz, there are days when I want a hug...and if I could get one I just _know_ it would make me feel better...maybe coz I'm not full demon, is that it? That's it, isn't it, Kagome?"

She was reeling. Inuyasha had spoken more to her in the past day than in five years of travelling. This side of him was truly darling, and she couldn't help giving him another cuddle.

"Whenever you want a hug come to me, alright?" She managed to make the words out.

"Really?"

"I'm hugging you now, aren't I?"

"Whoa! You're right! And I'm feeling so much better. Thank you, Kagome." He burrowed further in her chest and, as it was, she found the childish gesture incredibly adorable.

"Kagome..." His voice was quiet again. " Am I good?"

"Yes."

"But people say that demons are bad."

"People don't know demons. And anyway, you're only half-demon, so even if they were right and demons were bad, you'd only be half-bad. In other words, you'd be half-good."

"I never thought about it like that." He answered seriously.

"But people are wrong. You are good."

"I am...?"

"Yes. You save me, and take care of our group. Shippou looks up to you, and you're kinda the glue that holds us together, really. You protect us, and feed us, and keep us on track. You're really great."

"So I'm not bad?"

"No."

After a small bout of silence:

"Kagome...I...I...I get nightmares." He confessed softly. "Can I please share a futon?"

"Of course. If you do have nightmares, won't you tell me about them, please? It's meant to help."

"You...want to know...?"

"I'm your guardian, aren't I? That means I protect you, and make you feel safe. So I want to know so I can keep you feeling safe."

"S-s-so...if I were to share a futon with you...would it be wrong to hug you when I sleep?"

"No."

"Even though I'm...you know...that word which makes you angry when I say it?"

"That means nothing to me, Inuyasha. I want to protect you, take care of you."

"Y-y-you do?"

She kissed his hair softly.

"You don't remember – I promised to stay by your side, forever. I intend to."

He turned wide eyes shining with wonder on her.

"F'r ever'n ever? You won't leave me like my mother? Ever? You won't let me be alone?"

"As long as you want me to...I'll be here."

The shine became brighter until it spilled from his eyes and onto his cheeks tracing small lines into them. She held him closer trying to heal the wounds of his heart – wounds that had been inflicted from such a tender age. If Inuyasha the man needed her as a partner and a woman, the little boy trapped in the same familiar body no doubt needed her as a mother.  
She caressed his hair gently and blew softly on his tears before wiping them away with delicate fingers.

"I'll be here."

He closed his eyes and leaned into her.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Kitahou - North(ern) ie Shippou is part of the Northern Land's fox clan.**


	3. Just A Boy

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Not making any profit out of the publication of this story, other than my personal (non-monetary) enjoyment.

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**Just A Boy**

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Sunlight woke him dappling drops of warmth across his nose. He was warm, so warm, and the place smelled heavenly.

He didn't want to wake up, but eventually his eyes opened of their own accord.

"Ohayoo, Inuyasha." Kagome's kind smile greeted him and he instantly felt his bones melt.

"Kagome..." He was still on the floor, in her arms, like he had been when he'd fallen asleep.

She hadn't left him! The idea hit hard and began to sink in. She hadn't left him! She had _not_ left him. She was still here...er...there...with him.

"Kagome! Kagome! You're not gone...!"

She brushed her lips across his forehead.

"I won't leave you. I promised."

* * *

The day unwound peacefully, with Aya discovering that Inuyasha was not only very well raised but also had a good knack for cooking.

Kagome and Souta having gone to school, she had tried to entertain Inuyasha and in the process accidentally discovered that his sensitive nose helped him tell what ingredients he needed to use for what recipe and was more efficient and accurate than her cook-books.

Of course, he was still awkward, and didn't know what 'folding' or 'kneading' was, but he was quick to catch on.

In short, when Kagome and Souta came home they found a veritable feast was prepared in dinner's stead.

He was so incredibly shy and humble that all the compliments he received on his cooking (even Kagome's grandfather couldn't abstain from declaring it had been: "Quite delicious, although the bread was a little salty") simply made his ears disappear into his head and his face hide in the folds of his haori sleeves.

Kagome's heart grew at seeing him so part-of-the-family.

For a mere moment between her grandfather's snide appreciation, Souta's awed words and her mother's ear tweaking, the sadness disappeared leaving him just a boy.

That split-second look of peace on him would become one of her most treasured memories.

He was a boy. Just a boy. No heartache, no anguished past, no betraying lovers...just a boy, just a happy boy.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Ohayoo - informal way of saying 'Good Morning' - rough equivalent would be 'Mornin'!'**

**Short? Yes. I thought it would make a nice contrast to the last chapter, and it's not like I'm getting all that much motivation. I am flattered you keep adding me to your favourites and alerts, but to be quite frank it doesn't tell me anything. It's not that hard to post a review! I can't possibly improve things if I don't know they're wrong - in saying that, a big thank you to all my reviewers especially **wbaker5286 **and **bettychan **for not being afraid of writing more than a one-liner and giving (constructive) criticism. All you who read without reviewing you should be thankful to reviewers because it's their influence that helps me improve my style and thus indirectly give you a better-quality read. **

**I know this is a rant, and that many of you will quite likely think I'm being demanding and unreasonable, and that's ok. I'm not writing this to make myself out as a writer cheated out of feedback, I am merely doing it because I am utterly fed up with seeing hits in the triple digit range within the first 2 days (I mean above 300) and a measly 19 reviews to show for it. Honestly! It's incredibly disheartening. Is it that hard to say something about the story?  
And one more thing, please stop writing to me telling me to update faster/soon/asap as your only comment. It doesn't help me at all, and really it's quite annoying. I appreciate that you're enjoying my story and you want to read more, but I'm not going to put up some 2-second filler chapter just so I can say I updated. It's not fair to you, and it's really an insult to writing.  
The reason it takes so long to update is I have a life outside this, school, etc. plus I never just write and post. The chapters you see have all been revised at least half a dozen times before they're put up and even so, I find there are still mistakes which make feel worried about how the chapter will be received.**

**Now, don't go thinking I'm putting on primadonna airs. I won't stop updating, and I won't make unreasonable demands of 50 reviews+ per chapter, but it would be nice to see some feedback -like the Fullmetal Alchemist concept of equivalent exchange says: you can't get something without having to give something back.**

**That being said you are free, and more than welcome, to PM me with your views, comments and thoughts regarding the aforementioned - I am not afraid of debates. **

**Thank you to all those who listen to my rambling - or rather who bothered reading this.**

** Azaleea**


	4. Uragawa The Other Side of Me

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

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**Uragawa - The Other Side of Me**

* * *

"Whatcha doing?" Inuyasha's voice rang out. 

She had gotten accustomed to hearing his boyish voice, which was in complete dissonance with his actual body, so it hardly phased her.

"Homework."

"Boring." In the past week he had begun opening up more; he smiled more, and she could have sworn she had heard him laugh at one point. He seemed to be happy, and that made her happy.

"I have to do this."

"I don't get it. You say you don't like homework, and it's hard...but you still do it."

"I have to do it to get into a good university."

"That's the really big school with lots of people, isn't it?"

She nodded.

"Can I go to university?"

She chuckled.

"Somehow, I can't see you spending your entire day sitting down in class."

"You're right that's no fun!" He pouted.

"You should be outside playing ball. Why don't you ask Souta?"

Her answer was an uncomfortable silence.

"Inuyasha...?"

He was fidgeting – his eyes continuing to avert to random spots on the floor. The little boy in him cried out to her despite his body remaining rigid, and she closed the distance between them. Carefully she began brushing his hair.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

He nodded shyly before leaping and burying his face in her shoulder; her arms secured tightly around him.

"I don't play _kodama_..."

"That's okay. Souta can teach you."

"He won't."

"What? Don't be silly, he will if you ask him."

"No, he won't." He forced his nose deeper into her shirt. "He won't...and then it'll make you unhappy, and you'll cry...like my momma."

"Your mother?"

"The kids wouldn't play with me..." He mumbled. "...said I was a half-breed. Too dumb to play." She felt him shake. "And...my momma cried for me...And...and I don't want Kagome to do that..."

"Oh...Inuyasha."

"Don't...don't..." His little voice was desperate.

She nuzzled his hair.

"I won't cry. Thank you for telling me this."

He stayed silent.

"Come...we'll ask Souta if he'll play ball with you."

"But..."

"Trust me."

He followed her reluctantly.

"Souta."

"In here. Doing homework."

The disappointment on Inuyasha's face did not escape her.

"Souta, take a break, you're playing ball with Inuyasha."

She saw the ears flatten in expectation of rejection.

"'Kay. Are you gonna join us?"

Disbelief and happiness shone in Inuyasha's eyes.

"Alright. For a bit, though – I have homework to get through."

The excited whoops of the boys made her want to cover her ears, and she grinned.

* * *

They made do with inventing goal posts by using a few big stones, alloting the role of mid-field mark to the Goshinboku. Kagome couldn't stifle a smile as she saw the two boys attacking the task with such gusto. She decided she would help and picked up a rather large stick, that could have been dangerous if tripped over, throwing it away over her shoulder without a second thought. 

A breeze stirred her hair, a flash of read tinged her vision for a split-second; next thing she knew Inuyasha was sitting in his usual crouched stance with the stick she had just thrown in his mouth and with such a guilty on his face that it broke her heart.

"Inu..yasha...why did you just...?" She slapped herself mentally for asking an obvious question and again when he bent his head to put the stick down, all the while hiding his ears.

"Inuyasha..."

"I'm sorry."

She gaped.

"For what?"

"Nii-sama said it was disgraceful that I found such en-en-enjoy-...fun in such tasks..." He hid a small sniffle with his sleeve. "I'n't mean to do it. Honest, Kagome. I just...er...it just flew...and I..." He hung his head again. "I'm sorry."

"Do you..." She didn't want to insult him but she couldn't help remembering another,rather similar incident, on a beach. "Do you enjoy doing that?"

"Huh? You mean like...chasin' stuff? You betcha! I get to jump real high. I c'd jump higherer than all the kids in the village..." He stopped abruptly.

"What's the matter?"

He shook his head in that sad way of his – the one that made him seem even more like a little lost boy and tugged at her heart strings. She patted his head and hugged him briefly.

"It's ok if you don't want to tell me." Her smiles always managed to make him dizzy. How could anyone be so...so...shiny? He didn't know how else to put it. Kagome _shone_, especially when she smiled. He nodded and mumbled his thanks but flinched when she reached for the stick.

"I'm not going to hit you." She spoke softly. "I was just wondering...if you'd like to play a bit more with this..."

There was so much hope being held back in his eyes it made her tremble. He didn't dare ask if she was serious in case she wasn't and so he just stared at her shyly.

"It's okay." She offered him the stick but he pushed it back. "You don't like it?"

He mumbled something she didn't catch before turning his customary red and hiding his face in his sleeve.

"I am really sorry, Inuyasha, but I don't have your good hearing. Could you say that again, please?"

"...throw...please?"

"I...still didn't get it, sorry." She mumbled sheepishly.

"Would you throw it, please...Kagome?" The innocently widened eyes would have made a rock cry; so how was she, a mere human, meant to resist them?

"You ...want to play? Me throw and you catch?" He nodded barely perceptibly.

"Alright, only a few turns." She said amiably. "Then I'll let Souta take my place and I'll get back to my study, ok?"

"You will?! You really will play with me?" Such simple words, so full of pain from a life she couldn't begin to imagine; the hug came almost automatically to her.

He wiggled a bit in her embrace, trying to find his spot on her shoulder. His hands latched on to her suggesting a bit of the fear he'd only just felt at the thought of her rejection. She brushed his locks gently to calm him and was surprised when something wet tickled her cheek for a second. He suddenly disentangled himself from her embrace and stared at the ground.

"Did you just...?"

Well,_ that_ had never happened before, but upon slight consideration she realized it must have been purely instinctual.

"Were you saying thank you?" She almost didn't catch his nod. He wanted to disappear. How could he show that side of himself to Kagome?!! She would probably think it was disgusting, and unnatural. Now she would hate him too, and he'd be alone forever. He hardly even felt Kagome's arms grasping his shoulders but saw her face nearing and then...she had kissed him,just like he had done – a slight lick of the cheek – but...but...

"Ka-Kagome?"

She gave him another of her dazzling smiles.

"You deserve a puppy-kiss too."

And that's when he knew for sure in his eight-year old state, or rather two-hundred-year-old-reverted-to-eight-year-old state, that he was definitely going to marry the girl in front of him.

She gave him another smile and threw the stick.

Definitely was going to marry her!

* * *

A/N: Thank you ever so much for all the reviews I got for last chapter. It has been a true pleasure hearing from all of you and I apologise for making you wait so long for this chapter. I have taken into consideration the points some of you raised. Ivellios, you mentioned you would like to see a little more of Inuyasha's dog instincts, so I hope you like this chapter. I do recall Inuyasha actually doing that (the fetching of the stick) in the anime series (perhaps episode 18?) as a prelude to meeting Shiori (the half-bat demon girl). This story is very much my own vision of Inuyasha as a child so I shan't apologise for making him one way or another, but I will say that I have tried my hardest not to undermine his strength of character or his sweet nature. This is Inuyasha as he was before humanity (irony) turned him into the brash and uncouth boy we all know. I just wanted to clarify that.

Now then, a great thank you to Mazakai, Ivellios, InuKagLuver91, wbaker5286, fl29dwnlover, evrlastinglight101, inuyashasone, bettychan, Jiribel, Kitsune Hanyou, Iota Vixen, mysterychild, Hanyou Yogonem, badbunny1818 and Princess-Serenity-Serena (in no particular order) for kindly taking the time to drop me a few (and some, more than a few :D ) lines. I cannot express how much I enjoy hearing from you. As a sign of thanks, tonight I shall be putting up an extra chapter aside from this one as a thank you and part-apology for having not updated sooner. Kind regards!

Azaleea


	5. Small Steps

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha nor any of the characters mentioned in this story.

* * *

Small Steps

* * *

The boys had huge appetites come dinner time. 

"Someone had a good time." Aya observed goodnaturedly. "Good thing I made extras."

She piled the food on Inuyasha's plate.

He stared.

"Anything the matter, dear?"

He continued to stare.

"_Ume..boshi_...Miroku liked those with _onigiri_...They were his favourite." He raised wide eyes to Kagome. "I know Miroku!!! I know who Miroku is! Kagome!!! I _know _who Miroku is!!!"

She could hardly contain her joy.

"That's wonderful, Inuyasha." She squeezed his hand tightly. "You remember anything else?"

He blushed.

"There is this really pretty lady..."

Kagome felt a leaden weight fall in her stomach as her family continued to listen in. She prayed for strength all the while dreading the words he was about to speak.

"...and...I can't remember her name...but she's pretty...and...Miroku...he...he..." She thought she saw the tips of his ears redden as they disappeared into his hair. "He...puts his hands on her...er...on _her_..."

He simply could not utter the name of the body part on which the monk placed his hands. "And she gets angry...and slaps him...or hits him with this big...er...'ku' shaped weapon."

Kagome felt the breath returning to her body.

"The lady's name is Sango. The weapon is called Hiraikotsu – because it comes back when she throws it."

"But...Kagome...how can you be friends with someone who is...like...like..._that?_"

She took a deep breath.

"Miroku-sama may have his faults, but he is a good person."

"But...I kinda...remember he always goes and asks women very...improper questions..."

Kagome smiled.

"Like I said. He is a good person at his core, and that's what counts the most."

Inuyasha nodded thoughtfully.

"Nee-chan?" Souta piped up. "So...where does this Miroku person put his hands?"

She turned a shade of red that rivaled Inuyasha's haori and was thankful for her mother's intervention:

"My...Inuyasha...you must be tired having remembered so much...Do you want to lie down?"

He was gone by the time she finished her sentence.

* * *

"Tell me more about everyone, please!" 

She patted his hair gently and sat next to him.

"Well...let's see. Sango is a strong warrior and demon exterminator..."

"_T-t-taijiya?!_"

"Relax. She would never attack you." She chose to omit details of their first meeting. "She has a demon companion named Kirara. Remember? The fire-cat on whose back we rode to get to the well?"

He nodded.

"She...she was nice." He mumbled.

"Yes, Kirara is very nice."

"What else?"

"Well...there's Shippo?"

"The one who said I was like his brother?"

"That's the one."

Inuyasha's eyes shone with unshed tears.

"I always wanted a nice brother like that."

Kagome fought against the tears that threatened to fall.

"You get along well..." _Usually..._

"I want to remember so much!" She brushed his hair softly.

"All in good time."

"Say...Kagome...what happens if I don't remember?"

She couldn't dare to think about that.

"You will." Her smile was as much for his assurance as it was for her own. "You definitely will."

He laid his head across her lap.

"Will you still stay with me after I remember?"

She grasped his hand.

"I promise."

* * *

A/N:

Language notes:

umeboshi pickled plums

onigiri rice balls

Hiraikotsu is, in fact, shaped like the "ku" character from the Japanese hiragana syllabary. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I apologize for the formatting. It has refused co-operation under any circumstances. :S


	6. Reunion

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

* * *

**Reunion**_  
_

* * *

_He was exhausted. Days of starvation and running from predators had worn him out. Safe in a little nook at the root of a tree he let out a wistful sigh. His eyes threatened to close, but he willed them open; it was not dark yet. At night he would be easily concealed from any passer-bys, and the enclosure was small enough to not allow anyone else in. His ears drooped. When had he learned to be this...strategic? His mother had explained what strategic meant during one of their lessons and it had become one of his favourite words, more so of late._

"_Haha-ue!" He whimpered. Oh, how his little heart missed her. He wished she'd never died; she would have told him what he was meant to do to escape the pursuers. She would have kept him safe._

"_Haha-ue!" He just wanted to see her again._

* * *

He awoke to an empty room and wet cheeks. Kagome scent lingered still. He sniffled. She had told him she would be leaving for her 'gack-kou' thing, but... 

He wanted. He wanted _so_ much. More tears dropped from reddened eyes. His mind was made up.

He couldn't just leave, Kagome would worry, but surely it would be alright if he told her mother where he was going.

He ran down the stairs.

"I'm off to see my momma." He said to a surprised Aya and disappeared before she had the time to respond. She watched him go, her heart still shaking from seeing him so upset. Resigned, she looked at the watch. One hour before Kagome would be home.

* * *

"What do you mean, mama?" 

"That's all he told me."

"And went to the well?"

"Yes."

"I'm going after him."

"But, surely he'll be alright if he is with his mother."

"Mama, his mother died over a century ago."

And she was gone, leaving a very shaken Aya behind.

"Oh, the poor child. Please let him be alright!" Her prayer done she returned to the kitchen; there was very little else she could do to help them, and they would (no doubt) be very hungry when they returned. With a small sigh she began mixing the batter: time may heal wounds just fine, but sometimes cookies _were_ more effective.

* * *

"Kagome-chan!" Sango's voice didn't disguise her surprise. 

"Is Inuyasha better, then?" Asked Miroku.

"No. He's gone! He left when I was at school. He said he'd be seeing his mother."

"Could he have meant the grave?"

"Grave?!!! What grave Miroku-sama?!"

"His mother's." Sango answered silently.

"Where is it?"

"Kirara will take you." The demoness in question nodded and transformed.

* * *

"Haha-ue..." A small boy cries in front of the faded stone. "I missed you!!!" Tears darken the ground on which they fall. The shaken breaths from the child continue to pour out. 

"I didn't want you to go! I'm sorry I was bad! Please come back and I won't be bad no more! I promise!" He clenches his fists. "I'll n't say any bad words, an'...an' I'll do everythin' you say an'...I'll...I'll do anything! I'll stop bein' a half-breed, I will...just come back momma."

The gravestone continues watching on, unfazed.

* * *

"Thank you, Kirara." Kagome whispered jumping off. "Just stay here ok? I don't want him to get scared." 

The fire-cat nodded.

_Oh, Inuyasha._

He wasn't all that far off, but she hadn't expected to see such a sorrowful scene: Inuyasha folded on himself, looking very much the forlorn child, weeping with all he was.

She stopped, torn between comforting him and the possibility that she may make him flee.

"Momma...please?"

His broken voice brought tears to her eyes.

"Please momma? If...if I was human...would you still have left? You wouldn't of! You wouldn't of, would you?!" He sniffed loudly. "Come back momma. I'll be good and be a human boy f'r you. I'll...I'll...I'll ask the gods to take my ears! An' I'll cut my claws! Anything! I'll dye my hair! I'll only leave the house on nights with no moon, okay momma? You'll come back?" Another sob caught in his throat. "Please?"

She couldn't stand it anymore; walking up to him she knelt and hugged him tightly to her.

"Don't, Inuyasha. Don't change who you are. Your mother wouldn't want that for you."

"But...I'm bad! That's why she's gone. So if I'm good..."

Kagome suppressed a sob.

"No sweetie, no. You _are _good. Your mother didn't want to leave you, but she had to, ok? It wasn't your fault."

"Why else would she leave me?"

"Because other people made her? Remember? The knife...you found her there...do you remember?"

"No...No! She left me because I was _bad_!"

"No, Inuyasha. She was killed by humans. Stupid, _cruel_ humans. It was not your fault."

"They did it cuz of me! It's my fault!" He cried harder. "And now no-one'll ever want me."

" That's not true, Inuyasha." She kissed his hair gently. "Your friends care about you very much: Miroku, Sango, Shippo...remember them? Kirara...my mother, Souta, even Grampa. We all care about you; we all want you to understand that."

He sniffled.

"Does Kagome care?"

"Yes. Very much."

"Kagome...is my mother in Nirvana?"

"I don't know."

"Coz...Nirvana is awful far...and I want her near..."

"Oh, Inuyasha...she will be in your heart as long as you remember her."

"She will?"

"I promise you she will."

"Kagome..." He snuggled deeper into her. "D'you think I can ever have another mother?" He whispered too softly for her to hear.

"Tell me about her."

"Momma?"

Kagome nodded.

"She...she was diff'r'nt. She smelled real nice...kinda like you...but not..." He fumbled with his words. "Like...she smelled...like...like...lilies at dusk...and sometimes like summer...and..." He stopped abruptly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothn'."

She continued to play with his hair, brushing softly down the length of it she could reach. She occasionally stopped to brush his ears gently, then returned to his hair, never rushing.

"Kag'me...if my momma ain't here any more...can she still be proud of me?"

"I'm sure she already is, Inuyasha."

"Kag'me...I miss her." He whispered.

"I know you do."

Silence fell between them once more.

"Will it ever stop hurting?"

His tear-laced voice broke her heart.

"No." She said honestly. "It will get less painful, but it will always hurt a little."

"Kagome...I think...my mother would've liked you."

She smiled.

"Can we visit from time to time?" He tilted his head back to look at her.

"Anytime you want."

"Thanks! You're the bestest!"

She tightened her hold on him for a moment.

"Kagome, let's go back."

They got up and she was surprised when his hand slipped into hers. It didn't so much fit, but he seemed to be content so she just smiled at him.

"Is this okay?" He asked shyly.

"It's fine. Let's go home."

He nodded.

_Sayoonara, haha-ue!_

* * *

**Author's Notes: Last line means: "Goodbye, mother!". Inuyasha's rendition of the word "school" is in Japanese: gakkoo, spoken 'ga-koh", hence my romanisation of it in the earlier paragraph.**

**Thank you so much for reviewing, and I apologise for the delay in this chapter. I've been rather busy as of late. I'm gonna try and update more regularly come the new year, but I make no promises.**

**From the bottom of my heart I am grateful for all your support and your comments! I dearly love hearing from all you. **


	7. Superlatives

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

* * *

**Superlatives**

* * *

The stars began twinkling merrily. Inuyasha merely huddled under the desk. He could _almost_ fit...almost.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome walked into the room and turned on the light.

"There you are...what are you doing under the table? Come out."

"No!"

"Inuyasha?"

"I'm not. I won't."

"What's wrong?"

All she could see was a ball of red – not even his toes were visible. She knelt and tried to look under the table.

"Don't look!" He sounded terrified.

"Inuyasha, come on." She was worried about him, but she knew the best way to approach was with patience. "Come now, I'm your friend, remember? You can tell me."

Silence.

"Please?"

Slowly, he uncrossed his arm and pulled at a strand of hair, showing it to Kagome.

It was black.

"Yes...you have lovely hair. Is there something wrong?"

"It's black!"

"Well of course it is, silly boy. It's your human night tonight."

"You know about that?"

"Yes...you showed me when we were travelling together."

"And you're not angry?"

"Why would I be angry?"

"Coz I'm even more weak and pathetic. Sesshomaru-nii-sama refused to see me on nights like this. Said it made him nauseous to look at me. Say what does 'nauseous' mean? Anyways, I was kinda glad, coz at least for one night I wouldn't be disciplined." He looked at her sheepishly.

"I feel pain easier on moonless nights...and Sesshomaru-nii-sama can get carried away sometimes."

She pulled lightly on him, bringing him into her arms.

"You didn't deserve that, Inuyasha. Sesshomaru...just...I'm sure he means well, but he doesn't know how to take care of you."

"You really think that? Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'd gladly take a hundred sticks if that would mean that I'm not alone on this night."

"You really hate it that much...? But I'm human too..."

He turned to her, eyes widened in horror.

"Forgive me! I did not mean it like that! It's just...I can't hear you, or smell properly... so all the things I know: your heartbeat, the sound of you biting your lip when you're nervous, and your scent...even your _form_ sometimes completely disappears if you're not next to me. And it's scary. It's like drowning."

"Oh, Inuyasha. There is nothing to forgive. I'm just trying to understand."

He nodded.

"It's not so bad now...I have you. When I was drowning, I had no-one, and the water kept pulling at me, and I couldn't breathe...it was_ scareful_. Really _scareful_."

"When did this happen?"

"Errr...when the villagers threw me in the river...but...but don't cry Kagome, please...Sesshomaru-nii-sama saved me...but it's just that I remember the moments before that...and please don't cry anymore, Kagome. Please? It hurts right here when you do." He placed a hand on his heart. "I don't know why, but it does..."

"It's alright..." She wiped her tears and kissed the spot on his chest where his hand still laid. "There. All better."

He looked away.

"You know...you smell pretty."

"Thank you."

"But you also smell like me...Why?"

"We travel together...a lot."

"Is that all?"

She blushed. What exactly did he want her to say?

"Say...Kagome...do you have a _beau_?"

"Pardon?"

"A beau...a sweetheart?"

She shook her head and he sighed.

"I wish I was older so's I could be your beau coz you're real kind, 'n you don't smell weird like other humans, 'n you're pretty too. Real pretty. My momma was _the most beautifulest_ woman in the world." He declared staunchly. "But...Kagome is also very pretty. Almost as beautiful as my momma...but momma's still the most beautifulest." He spoke in an apologetic voice meant to tell her that this was the rule, but he was willing to make exceptions for her. She chuckled.

"Thank you, Inuyasha."

"I want to remember, Kagome. I really want to remember. You told me so much...and it sounds like a real nice story, but I don't..."

"You will...all in good time."

"Kagome...can I stay with you f'rever'n' ever?"

"You can stay with me as long as you want."

* * *

**Author's Notes: Here we are! I wanted to thank you all for the overwhelming responses to the last chapter, and this seemed like the best way! ;) I loved dearly hearing from all of you and I treasure each one of your compliments. Thank you for all the smiles. :) Before anyone brings it up, I know that 'beau' is a French word and thus, that Inuyasha would have no way of knowing it, but I chose to use it because it lends a feeling of the era Inuyasha is from. If you think of my story as using dialogue that is essentially Japanese translated into English then the use of the word 'beau' will not be historically incorrect, instead, it will be the relevant and most impacting form of whichever word Inuyasha would use in Japanese. I hope this makes sense, and, if not, feel free to PM me with questions or comments, etc. **

**Merry Christmas to all of you! (I refuse to believe people can be insulted by this statement. If you are not Christian, then a Happy Holiday season to you!!! Just enjoy it :D) Lots of love to all of you. **

** Azaleea**


	8. Advance

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. **

* * *

**Advance**

* * *

"Kagome!!! Kagome!!!" She braced herself as a wildly running Inuyasha flung himself into her arms. "You're home! I thought you'd never get home." She curbed her laughter and patted his back. 

"I told you I would be home as soon as school finished."

"But it was so loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong ago!" He emphasized dolefully.

"You know I will always come back."

He didn't answer; instead he raised his eyes to her face, as though in search on something.

"What's the matter?"

He pursed his lips.

"You've told me that before…you said you would always come back."

"Well…it's true."

"No…I mean…I _remember_ you told me this before. I don't know when…but I…remember you did."

She hugged him tightly.

"That's wonderful, Inuyasha!"

He continued staring guardedly.

"Your scent was too strong. I remember feeling like I was going to faint."

"My…scent? Are…are you sure?" She never recalled Inuyasha ever telling her that her scent made him sick.

He nodded.

"Tears. It was full of tears…and so heavy…I don't know why."

_Oh! That time!_

"I…I'd had a difficult week."

He shook his head.

"No…it…it wasn't that. I remember…a decision…" Disentangling himself from her, he turned away. "I…I was guilty."

"No! Not at all." _Well…maybe a little._ She touched his back gently. "It was a misunderstanding."

"No! I remember! I said: 'I cannot ask Kagome to come back. It wouldn't be fair to her. I have no right.'…and Miroku sighed…and…and Sango looked sad and Shippo looked at me with pity. I remember _that_ but why can't I remember what I did?! What is wrong with me?!" He crouched into a ball.

"Inuyasha., there is nothing wrong with you."

"Then tell me what I did wrong! Tell me why you were crying! Please! I want to know! I want to remember everything."

"Inuyasha…let's go to my room and talk there okay? I'll grab you a glass of water."

"You'll tell me?"

"Yes."

* * *

He sat on her bed with all the weight of his full age weighing down his shoulders. What could he have done? 

"Now…here's your water." She said offering him the glass. He took it, his gaze, all the while, on the floor.

"So you remember when I came back, yes?"

He nodded.

"I had been crying…but it's normal. You see, we – you and I – we just…we had a bit of a communication problem. I went thinking one thing…and you – well…I don't know what you were thinking, but from what you've told me, I'm glad I didn't give you the chance to act on it."

"What did I do, Kagome?"

"Nothing. I promise you, you did nothing bad, nothing you should feel guilty about. You met someone…and didn't tell me about it, that is all."

"Why would I do that?"

"I think that is something best left for you to remember in order to understand."

"I…I want to know…but you're right…I need to remember." He sighed. "I wish I c'd do it faster." He placed the glass on the floor.

"We have time, don't worry."

"It's just…" He huffed slightly. "I…feel even more like a …a freak. I mean…I'm all big…but I'm still small in my head…and that's weird!"

"It may feel odd but, trust me, you'll get better."

"Yeah…but…I wanna get better now…"

"There is no need to hurry, alright? And you are not a freak, no matter what."

"I…it's nice to hear. Thank you, Kagome…" She smiled but the slow lowering of his ears wasn't lost on her. Her hand moved to his shoulder.

"Inuyasha is Inuyasha and that's all I care about."

He nodded mutely.

"I can only imagine how hard it is on you, but I know you're trying and you should be proud of what you do remember so far."

"I just…want to remember _you_! I want to know things without you having to tell me first!" He bit his lip. "Like… why I've never seen Miroku actually tell Sango he liked her but I know they'll mate? Why Shippo is afraid of thunder? Why I wake up sometimes and it feels like this…" He pointed to the spot where Kikyo's arrow had pinned him. "…is on fire…or, or why I see your crying face above me almost every night! I wanna know why you are still alive despite meeting Sesshomaru-nii-san and why I keep seeing a sword and my daddy's face." He lowered his head. "I've never seen my pappa before, Kagome…" His words were muffled. "My big brother told me he died on the day I was born…that he died because of me."

She couldn't help feeling surprised at the amount of information he had recalled, but her heart ached for him.

"A year or so ago…there was a cursed sword called Soun'ga. You and Sesshomaru joined forces to seal it and, when you did, your father's ghost appeared for a few moments. That's probably why…but…"

He raised timid eyes to her and her heart jolted again seeing them filled with tears.

"…you…said…that day that you didn't really see his face."

He cocked his head.

"I…in the flower field?"

"Yes." She smiled.

"Oh…" He blushed. "I…I think…I was sad because…I finally saw my pappa but…I didn't know him like big brother and…and big brother always tells me that it's my fault it's like this…so…"

She pulled him into her arms.

"I…I wish you'd have told me."

"I…I was scared. I don't know why but I remember fear…feeling fear."

"It's alright, Inuyasha. It's alright!" She brushed his hair softly. "See…you're remembering so much! Soon you'll know everything again."

"So…what about Miroku and Sango and Shippo?"

Kagome blushed.

"You…were with me…spying on them when he proposed. As for Shippo, his father was killed by thunder demons, you helped avenge him."

"Me?! Help _avenge_ someone?!" He paused for a moment. "Do I battle cool-like?"

"Eh?"

"Am I cool? You know, when I battle? Do I battle much? Is that what the sword is for? Hey…where is the sword?"

She giggled.

"You are_ very_ cool when you battle. Very _dashing_ and brave. You battle a bit, you protect us…the sword is a gift from your father and I put it away until you remember how to use it."

He pouted.

"Just until you remember." _I don't think anyone could keep you from Tessaiga once you do!_

"Kagome likes me!" He announced boisterously. "You think I'm brave! Does that mean you'll be my sweetheart one day?"

Her heart stopped for a moment.

"Kagome?!!! Kagome! I'm sorry." He pulled away from her abruptly. "I'm sorry…that was too…rude of me…I mean…I'm sorry just…make your heart beat normal again!" He implored her. "I don't want you to die coz of me."

"Die? Why would I die?" He was making her head spin.

"Your breathing was so hard and…and…your heart was all…normal then it stopped! I mean…it started again…and really fast….but you can't live if your heart stops! That's what happened to haha-ue!" He clenched his fists at his side. "I'm sorry."

She patted his head gently.

"I was just surprised, that's all. I'm alright, see?" She pulled him in again. "It's normal, yes?"

She felt him nod.

"And, to answer your question…" His ears pricked. "I _do_ like you, Inuyasha…and…if someday, when you've remembered everything, you decide you'd still want me to be your sweetheart…" She tried to keep her heart as calm as possible. "…then…we'll talk. Alright?"

"Mkay…" He replied grudgingly.

"But I _do_ like you, Inuyasha. That won't change…just asking someone to be your sweetheart is a big decision, you know? I want you to be absolutely sure, and you can't be until you remember everything."

He burrowed into her shoulder.

"Well…alright…but…but…when I get all my memory back I'm gonna kiss you, just so'z you know."

She giggled.

"Alright."

* * *

**Author's Note: Fluff, as some of you had asked for. :D I hope you enjoy this chapter. Do forgive me for not thanking all those who review individually as of late. It's incredibly busy at the moment and I'm concentrating on just getting the chapters out; however, I do want you all to know I am very grateful for all your continued support and feedback. Ivellios, I'll mention you because you're the reason this chapter came about, with your question about Inuyasha and how there's such a huge discrepancy between what he looks like and how he sees himself. I hope that you find this to your liking. :) To all of you who have supported, and are supporting this story, I thank you truly! Your comments always make my day! Kind thanks!**

** Azaleea**


	9. Once Upon A Time

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

* * *

**Once Upon A Time**

* * *

"Blech!!!!" Inuyasha's discontent with the finale of the movie was rather pronounced. Kagome chuckled. 

"Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad!"

Inuyasha pretended to gag again.

"He_ kissed_ the princess! Ew!" Another giggle shook Kagome.

"I quite liked it."

"You're weird." He retorted.

The way up to her room was littered with Inuyasha's exclamations of displeasure on the topic.

"Alright, next time _you_ can choose the movie.

"Yeah!" He chanted boisterously.

"Now, I'm gonna do some work, so I'm gonna have to ask you to be quiet, 'kay?"

He nodded.

"I won't say one word."

She smiled.

"Not even one word!"

A small pause on her side.

"I'm gonna be silent coz Kagome asked me to!" He murmured to himself. "Must be quiet for Kagome."

Oh, how he made her heart ache with tenderness. He was truly such a sweet child.

"Kagome needs to study, so I'm gonna be very...very...quiet." He whispered to himself again. She smiled behind her book.

"Inuyasha?"

"..._very_...quiet..."

"Inuyasha...?"

His head snapped to her. He had such lively eyes as of late. It struck her that this would be how he would have looked if he had never been forced to live on his own. The thought had made her quiver with sadness.

"Could you help me with this?"

"M-me?"

"Yep. It's really important."

At the sound of that his ears perked up. He could do something important for Kagome!!! The chance should not be wasted. She handed him the piece of paper.

"What I need you to do is to look at this, then go through it with me."

He blinked, uncertain.

"It's a part of a play. I need to say my lines, but I also need to learn my cues."

"Play...? Like...like Noh?"

She resisted the urge to laugh at the thought of herself in a Noh mask, but he certainly had the concept right.

"Yes. I need to know when and how to say these lines."

"So...you want me to read the other lines?"

"Yep."

* * *

He would do this for Kagome! He had to! Never mind that he hadn't really read since his mother had read with him. Never mind that this made him miss her even more. No! He had to do this for Kagome! He shook his head trying to dispel the memories threatening to overwhelm him. 

Kagome saw a range of feelings cross his face before he went pale, but he started reading before she could say anything. She continued watching him. Something was making him frown; something was upsetting him.

"Inuyasha...anything the matter?"

"No!" He went back to reading the lines doggedly.

She would not force him.

"I cry because my crystal ball rolled into the well and I cannot retrieve it." She had successfully remembered the first cue.

"Well then, p-p-princess, if I were to promise to get it for you what would you say?"

"I would be forever grateful, oh brave sir...er...Toad."

"(With a smirk) I'm a frog, by the way. Still, would you grant me a wish?"

She couldn't help smiling at the way he read, including stage instructions. He really was too adorable sometimes.

"Anything, anything." She made sure to use her best whiny princess voice.

"I hold you to your word princess. (The frog jumps into the well and comes up with her crystal ball. He per-per-p-perches himself on the lip of the well). Now, for my reward...(He hands her the ball) I ask for your hand."

"M-my hand?"

"In marriage."

"B-b-but you're a frog!!! And I'm a princess." Overdo the shock; pout; wave exaggeratedly.

"Yes, and you gave me your word!"

"I thought you'd ask for money or something." Act dumb, act dumb!

"What good would money do to a frog...?"

"I don't know." Pout. "But I can't marry you!" Push away.

"(The frog fell into the well. He didn't want to cry, but he couldn't help feeling very discouraged. He had thought the princess was special; that she would see he wasn't just a frog; that she would see through the evil spell. He raised his head.) You promised."

Inuyasha raised his eyes from the page.

"What spell?"

"The frog was a wonderful prince who had been cursed by an evil witch and turned into a frog."

"And the princess didn't know?"

"Nope."

"Of course...no princess would ever stoop to marry a frog." He had said that with much too much rawness in his voice for her not to realize he was no longer referring to the story.

"Inuyasha?"

"I hate this story! I _hate_ it!"

He ran out of the room.

"Inuyasha..."

She could have hit herself for not seeing the parallels sooner.

"Inuyasha..."

She hoped he hadn't left the shrine.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thank you ever so much for the reviews to the last chapter! I adore hearing from you and I'm so incredibly grateful for all your support. This chapter is not a filler, it's meant to be a cliffy. Sorries. :p **

**Just a few things, someone asked about Kagome's age and mentioned that I said at some point she was about 16-17. She is actually 20 in this story. What I said was that she "looked to be 16 or 17 summers" and that was from Inuyasha's perspective. Also take into count that Kagome is Japanese and Japanese women (Asian women in general) tend to look younger than their ages. I am really sorry but I can't remember who mentioned this to me, but thank you for doing so!**

**Then, the thing about Inuyasha not liking the kissing scene in a movie. Remember he is a young boy. Kissing Kagome and looking at two people on-screen kissing are two different things. Then there is the whole "acting tough" side. I'm just mentioning this in case this chapter raises issues of inconsistency with the last chapter. **

**I hope this helps. :) **

**I'm gonna try really hard and not leave you hanging for too long with this. :) Meh, who needs sleep anyway? XD I honestly hope you are enjoying this story. Oodles of love, lashings of gratitude and abundance of smiles upon all:3 **


	10. Of Times Long Past

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor any of the characters.**

* * *

**Of Times Long Past**

* * *

Why did that story hurt?! It hurt so much that he stopped and checked his haori for a moment, and was almost surprised he wasn't bleeding. His mother...A sob threatened to overwhelm him. 

"Momma...is there really no princess?" He asked looking up at the sky through the leaves of the Goshinboku. He remembered the tale his mother use to tell him of the princess – the princess that would love him for all he was, not despite his differences but _because_ of them; she'd said so, and he had believed. But, really, the play Kagome was doing was just a story. It wasn't real; and he'd had no experience with any princess to tell him his mother was wrong, so why did it feel like she was? Why did he feel lied to? Was that one of those memories he no longer had?

"Momma...why does it hurt?"

He just wanted...wanted his mother back; wanted to sink into the comforting warmth of her arms and feel safe; wanted to feel her hands brushing his hair, letting him know everything was alright; he didn't want to be lost like this. He didn't want to not know! He...Fat tear drops rolled down his cheeks. He hadn't read aloud since his lessons with his mother. She would hold him and they would read together about princes and princesses and dragons that breathed fire; then she would take out the writing set and show him another one of the Chinese characters. Her brush would dance on paper until the character came to life before him, then she would tell him to try and write it too in that gentle voice of hers that made him think he could do anything – even if his writings always did end up looking like black, disjointed lines. She would tell him again and again how much he was improving, and how proud she was of him. Her scent would wash over him, a testimony to the truth of her words, and his little heart would swell with so much happiness he felt it could burst. More tears pinched his cheeks.

He got up. He didn't want Kagome to find him just yet. She would be upset for him, and that would be awful, especially since he'd probably made her angry by running off.

* * *

The storage house beckoned. He entered and closed the door behind him carefully. The musty smell made him sneeze, which set the dust off. More sneezes than he could count later he was still crying into his sleeve, his heart crushed by something he couldn't explain. Lazily, his eyes took in his surroundings. Shelves upon shelves of old brick a-brack and whatnots gathered across the years. His eyes fell on one thing with a resounding thud. It was_perfect_. He took it out carefully, lest he damage something already fragile. A little rusty, but after adjusting the bridges a little bit he found it was still very much usable. Picks...picks...He couldn't find anything remotely suggesting it may be containing picks; he decided his nails would do. He took in the graceful arch, the lissom form, the taut strings and he saw everything. His fingers began plucking ever so gently, ever so sadly. He saw the present, he was the past, he knew the future. Everything poured into his hands which glided almost flawlessly along the strings. 

How long had it been?

How long had his heart been silent?

Emotion after emotion poured from his eyes, from his hands. He could see his mother bent over her koto, graceful tapered fingers dancing along the strings drawing beauty through sounds. He could see her clear as day: her warm smile, her tears, her love all reflected in her songs.

He didn't care that he was crying, or that he was becoming unable to breathe; nor did he care that his knees were starting to hurt from being used as a pillow on cold ground, nor that his fingers were beginning to numb. The song was his moment. As long as he continued to play, his mother's smile, her words, her voice, her presence would stay with him; he would not be a lone child with a tortured past; as long as he continued to play there was no past, no future just the moment – the glorious-eternal moment.

* * *

** Author's Note: Ok, so not exactly resolving the cliffy, but working on it.:p Some of you may recognize the reference to my other story, Shadowed Choices. It is done purposefully. Thank you all for the overwhelming response to the last few chapters. It is so incredibly wonderful to know so many of you are following and enjoying this story. :D Thank you! **


	11. Echoes

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Inuyasha, nor the characters. I do own the poem, however.**

* * *

**Echoes  
**

* * *

She watched him play the _koto_ in awe. She didn't even know they _had_ a koto at the shrine; and most certainly wasn't aware he could play. Not for the first time she pondered how much she did not know about Inuyasha. Tears streamed down his face but he seemed at peace. He hadn't sensed her, as far as she could tell (or, if he had, he was ignoring her).

It took her a while to realise that what she thought was mumbling were actually words to the song. If she strained her ears she could only just hear him above the melody:

_"The crane that bows its neck_

_At the temple of Ise,_

_I prayed to it one day_

_That it may fly to you._

_:o: _

_The crane spread out its wings_

_And cried out to the delta_

_I can't, I can't, I can't_

_For she is not for you._

_:o: _

_And so I wept and wept,_

_ At the temple of Ise_

_Until my sleeves were all_

_But overflowing red._

_:o: _

_'Cry not!' called out the crane_

_For none can battle fortune_

_And we all bow our necks_

_Before the sword of fate._

_:o: _

_My heart broke like the ice_

_That sunshine thaws, on rivers,_

_My head bent down so I_

_Could see the humble truth:_

_:o: _

_The woman who I loved_

_Was not the one I'd chosen;_

_And I had chosen she,_

_The one who loved me not._

_:o: _

_The sun rose on my head_

_The sky, with carmine tainting,_

_The temple breathed a long,_

_Resounding sigh of life;_

_:o: _

_But inside I, oh, I,_

_Whose heart was slowly wilting,_

_Wandered alone and lost_

_Through the cranes at dawn._

_:o: _

_The wind gouged at my eyes_

_My heart continued mourning_

_And I, and I, and I_

_Saw neither dawn nor light_

_:o: _

_'Cry not!' called out the crane_

_But I could not obey him;_

_As far as eyes could see_

_My world was draped in white._

_:o: _

_'She who is meant for you,_

_She comes to you.' He warned me._

_ I could not see a way_

_In which that could be true._

_:o: _

_'She who is meant for you_

_Is more than who you're mourning;_

_She's love and light and warmth_

_And all, she is for you._

_:o: _

_She knows your heart and soul_

_Though no words have been spoken_

_She loves with a pure heart_

_Everything you are._

_:o: _

_But on and on I wept_

_Upon the shores of Ise_

_While cranes encircled me_

_And chanted of my bride._

_:o: _

_I could not raise my head_

_My heart was all in tatters_

_The woman I had loved_

_Would never be my wife._

_:o: _

_But then the breeze caressed_

_The gentle shores of Ise_

_And from the East I felt_

_A presence start to rise._

_:o: _

_The cranes all bowed their head_

_In humble recognition_

_Before the goddess of_

_The land of the Sunrise._

_:o: _

_'Why weep you?' spoke she softly._

_No haughtiness, no airs_

_Naught but a single blossom_

_To grace her fair head._

_:o: _

_'I weep for selfish reasons'_

_I said, all the while bowing,_

_'I weep for she whom I love but_

_Whom I may never wed._

_:o: _

_And lo! Her eyes then misted_

_With emotions a thousand_

_And every single one_

_Reflected upon me._

_:o: _

_'Weep not for she is happy_

_And wishes back upon you_

_The happiness which you_

_Grant'd her so honestly._

_:o: _

_She knows your love for her_

_Alas, she loves another,_

_But prays for blessings on you_

_As you, for her, hath done._

_:o: _

_Her hands reach out to me_

_Her tears call to my tears_

_Her soul ties on to mine,_

_And then I finally see:_

_:o: _

_As the cranes bow their heads_

_At the temple of Ise_

_I found the one I love,_

_She who is meant for me._

_:o: _

_We speak naught after that_

_For she knows all my failings_

_I try in vain to hide_

_My shortcomings and yet,_

_:o: _

_She smiles with her eyes_

_Her sleeves touching my own ones_

_And whispers how she loves me_

_All the more for them._

* * *

She could not help but wonder if he knew what he was singing, and how it resonated with his own life. He continued to play and she watched on until, at long last exhausted, his eyes closed and his fingers stilled. She wiped her tears. She had had _no _idea! She never would have imagined just how sensitive Inuyasha could be. Tears continued to pour from his closed eyes and she brushed them away gently. She could not carry him to the house, but she would not leave him. Kneeling next to him, she pulled him to herself, resting his head on her shoulder. Tears kept making their way down his face. She kissed the crown of his head and brushed the length of his hair. The feeling of helplessness continued to bloom in her. 

_How can I help you, Inuyasha? How can I heal you?_

But she knew – keeping her promise to stay by his side, if nothing more. She would stand by him, stay strong for him, and that would have to do for now.

"You're not alone, Inuyasha. I made a promise to you." She murmured.

She did not notice the small smile that made its way onto his sleeping face.

* * *

**Author's Note:Yay! I finally managed to put up this chapter! I would have put it all as chapter 10 but it would have been way too long. Yes, the poem is mine - it's a song actually - and I apologise about the formatting but there is nothing I could do. Oh how I tried. :s The part about sleeves flowing red is a metaphor often encountered in haiku, particularly of the Heian Era, which refers to crying so much one that it soaks their sleeves (which considering how voluminous kimono sleeves are, is quite a feat) and become tears of blood. (I hope I remembered that correctly.) I do apologise for the length of the poem but it simply would not be cut down. Inuyasha needed to sing!!! Sing, I tell you!!!! O.o Yes...anyway, I hope this wasn't a too hard to read chapter and that you did enjoy it. Fluff will be coming soon...er...if I remember right. :p **

**Toodles! **


	12. With You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

* * *

**With You**

* * *

He awoke to a stiff neck and the scent of midnight mixed with dust. A sneeze escaped him, startling Kagome.

He lowered his eyes, his ears followed.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" What had he done to be sorry about?

"Running off…" Was Kagome _really_ that lenient?

"Oh, Inuyasha. You were upset. If anything, I should apologise for making you read a story that would make you sad."

"Kagome…do princesses still exist?"

"Err…" She tried to think, but it was such an odd topic. "I…yes…some…a few…"

"Here?"

"Erm…not quite, kinda…um…sorta."

"Oh." His ears drooped.

"But…there are some left…in the world…I think."

"Do you think…?" He began but stopped suddenly. "Never mind."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Mm."

"Inuyasha…I'm sorry for making you read that play. I didn't think it would upset you…I didn't think…" He shook in her arms.

"I…am happy." He sighed softly. "I am happy you gave me a chance to do something for you and…I'm sorry I ruined it."

She resisted her tears bravely, knowing how much they would hurt him.

"You're welcome." She willed her voice to stay steady.

"Kag'me…" His heart was thrumming against her arm like a trapped bird. "Can…May I…Am I allowed to be happy?"

Her mind stilled. The softly-uttered words echoed in her head, pounded her shaking heart.

"Yes! Yes!" He wrinkled his nose at the scent of her tears. "Yes! You can! You will! Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise!"

"Okay then." His voice was demure. "I will…well, to be honest, I have been." He stopped carefully. "I've been real happy since Kag'me took me in." Tears continued to plop in his hair.

"Kag'me is nice. She cares about me…she…she looks after me. I mayn't like it but she cries for me because she cares…and I'm happy." His face grew instantly warm. "Happy that…that she cares…not that she…she is cryin'.  
"I know, I know…" She murmured.

"And, Kag'me is…well…she's very kind…and I am very happy." He relaxed under the gentle sliding of her hands down the length of his hair. "Very…"

She scattered soft kisses on his head and the tips of his ears, laughing softly when they began to twitch madly.

"Kagome is happy that you're happy."

"Mmmhmmm…" His ears twitched again.

"Are you listening for anything?"

"Huh?"

"I was just wondering…your ears…they're twitching like they usually do when you're looking out for something."

"Oh…no. I…um…well…I'm not used to it."

"Used to what?"

"This…" He confessed shyly. "Being treated nice-like. Kagome is the first to not pull them…y'know since momma…but they're still skittish."

"Pull them?!!!"

"Yeh…villagers did. And twisted…cut the left one..."

Kagome's voice died in her throat.

"Kagome…she never hurt them…but they're still not used to it…"

"They c-c-ut…off…?" Her finger brushed against his ear softly. "They…?" She couldn't get the words out.

"No…they just…slashed…I mean…it got slashed…when they locked me in the dungeon…but…but don't cry K'g'me. Don't cry, please…" The fragility in his voice was oddly reminiscent of past admonishments despite its timbre.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I'm so very sorry."

He shrugged further in her embrace.

"Kagome cares." He smiled amid tears. "Kagome really cares."

More kisses rained on him.

"Yes. Very much so."

"Good." He whispered. "Inuyasha cares about Kagome too. Lots."

* * *

**Author's Note: So, here we are, crisis resolved. I just realized I was putting the apostrophe in Kagome's name in the wrong place. Sorry. Her name is stressed on the first syllable so it's the "go" that would get abbreviated. My apologies. On another topic altogether, to those of you constantly asking why I'm not updating, the answer is because I'm busy. Even a word nymph has jobs to do, people to see, words to craft, etc. Moreover I'm quite frustrated with the complete (and I mean complete) lack of reviews for chapter 10. Zero reviews really is no motivation. At any rate, rest assured I have learned my lesson and won't be uploading any more chapters in series. In saying that I'd very much like to thank all of you who have reviewed (chapter 11), and rest assured this story will be continued. I'm currently working out the denouement. :3 **


	13. Pivot

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters affiliated with it; furthermore no monetary profit is made from the publishing of this story.**

* * *

**Pivot**

* * *

_Warm smiles and gentle glances...a woman with black, long hair. Kagome...? Cherry blossoms spilled over the two of them sitting side by side; then, suddenly, the leaves blushed into the russet tinge of autumn and he could see the woman in his arms. Holding on to him, trusting in him, lo-_

_'Die, Inuyasha!' The woman had yelled and he felt like listening to her. _

_The words cut him to the quick _– _ he never saw the arrow coming. He grasped at the image of the woman he was in love with, in vain. Her sneer, her cold eyes; something was off! Something was wrong...but he was sleepy, so...sleepy..._

_Why? His heart shed tears even as his mind shut down. Suki nano ni..._

* * *

She watched him toss and turn. He let out a keening whine; her arms tightened around him.

"You're okay, Inuyasha. You're safe..." She whispered softly, trying to pacify him. When he finally awoke she could see tears still shining in his eyes.

"You had a nightmare. You're alright now."

His eyes just widened even more.

"Y-y-you...! Get away from me!"

"Inuyasha!"

"Let me go! Let me go!" He wiggled out of her arms and ran out.

"Inuyasha! Come back here! What's wrong?"

She followed him to the well house and jumped in.

* * *

The tears scorched his cheeks but they wouldn't stop coming. Kagome...she had lied to him as well. He remembered now.

She had treated him as a dog too. Told him to 'sit', humiliated him. And he had thought...

The tears strengthened their flow again. His big brother had been right. No-one would want a half-breed. No-one _could_ want a half-breed. The only one who would allow him to even share his existence was...

With a heavy heart he decided it was time. He would return.

* * *

**Translation Notes: Suki na no ni means: But...I love you.**

**Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay. I've recently relocated into a much much larger dictionary - a veritable palace of words - and as such have had no time to update. I much appreciate all your messages and feedback and I would like to assure you this story will not be abandoned. My apologies if I haven't managed to reply to all individually; just know I do read them and I'm always very happy to hear from you! I shall do my best to update as fast as I can. Much love and gratitude to all for making this story reach over 13,000 hits and 232 reviews and for very kindly nominating it as this quarter's IYFG best drama (inufan625)!! (smiles and rainbows):3  
**

* * *


	14. Halfcircle

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

* * *

**Half-circle**

* * *

An odd-scented wind tickled Sesshoumaru's nose. He sniffed delicately then sniffed again, his eyes widening a fraction.

This...he knew this scent. Ordering the imp and the girl-child to remain where they were, he rushed to the source.

The sight that met him was one that left him quite flabbergasted for the first time in a very long time. He felt disgust should have entered the question also but, for some reason, pity was more akin to what the vision stirred in him. Before him, curled up and crying, was Inuyasha. It was not crying, he decided after a moment of pondering, for the keening wails and the sobs were enough to melt a stone's heart; Inuyasha was _broken_.

"This Sesshoumaru finds this display pitiful."

A statement customary for him was met with a very non-customary reaction.

"Sesshoumaru-_nii-sama_!" The boy raised teary eyes to him. "Forgive me! You were right. You were right...no-one could want a half-breed...please...please forgive me."

Somewhere in the region of his chest something protested and told him to approach the boy, but he resisted stoically.

"What nonsense are you spouting now, half-breed?"

"I'm sorry I ran away. I..."

"Get away from him."

He turned a quizzical stare on Kagome with her bow poised.

"I'll say it only once more. Get away from Inuyasha _now_!"

"You both seem to have lost your ability to reason. Do you really think this Sesshoumaru would allow himself to be hit by your pathetic arrow?"

The bow sounded and he felt something hot brush the side of his face. The tree behind him exploded.

"The next one will be your head. Get away from Inuyasha!"

"No! Don't hurt nii-sama!"

"But...Inuyasha...he..."

"Miko!" Sesshoumaru growled dangerously. "You will explain the situation to this Sesshoumaru, now!"

"Don't listen to her, nii-sama! She'll…"

A look silenced him.

"Inuyasha has lost his memory."

He continued watching silently, and she felt the need to elaborate.

"He got injured. Most of his memory is gone."

"And you are sure of this?"

"Yes."

"He seems to have lost a considerable amount, indeed."

"He thinks it's not year the year since his mother's death."

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened the slightest fraction then he nodded thoughtfully.

"Please, Sesshoumaru-nii-sama..." Inuyasha's soft voice broke their conversation. "Please...I'll take any punishment...but please...don't make me go back with...with...her."

Kagome thought she would break but willed herself to continue standing.

"Go back?"

"To...her dwelling."

"And what reason is there for this Sesshoumaru to listen to your plea?"

Inuyasha looked down.

"Because...I...Because I'm sorry nii-sama. I promise I won't disobey you again. Or complain if I'm hungry. I'll hunt for myself. You won't even know I'm there. And I...I won't cry when I'm disciplined...please..."

The scent from Kagome's tears hit both brothers like a wave.

"I-Inuyasha...what did I do?"

He refused to even glance her way.

"Please...nii-sama..."

"This Sesshoumaru will punish you first."

"No! You touch one hair on his head and I swear..."

"You will go back with the miko. That is your punishment."

"No...! Nii-sama...!" His cries were heart-wrenching.

"That is final, Inuyasha."

"No..." His eyes gave away the panic, and Sesshoumaru caught him right before he bolted.

"Now, miko, you will show this Sesshoumaru the way to your dwelling."

She looked like she was about to faint.

"Would you rather I took him with me?"

She shook her head.

"This way."

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**Author's Note: Thank you all for the responses to the last chapter! I very much love hearing from all of you! :3 Comments, questions, glomps all welcome! :p**

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	15. And Back Again

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I do not make any monetary profit from the publishing of this story. Furthemore, I am not under any duty (tortious or otherwise) to update!!

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**A Good Save?**

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After a while Inuyasha's cries had softened into whimpers, the sound of each carving another wound into Kagome's heart.

He wanted to be away from her, and it hurt. Badly. Every attempt to find out what had happened had been met with failure.

"Are you attempting to be humorous, miko?"

Sesshoumaru looked less than impressed with the well.

"My house...it's in another time. This is the way to it."

"Very well then."

"You can't come."

He quirked a questioning eyebrow.

"What I mean...is..only Inuyasha and I can pass. I, because I'm the guardian of the Shikon no Tama, and he because...because...he...wears my charm."

"The rosary?"

She nodded.

"You will show this Sesshoumaru your dwelling, else I take Inuyasha with me."

"But you cannot come."

"Find a way. And soon. I have not the patience."

Kagome sighed, obviously frustrated. After a while, she faced him again.

"If I can get you to the otherside, you are not allowed to leave the grounds of the shrine."

"You dare order this Sesshoumaru?" His cold tone screamed at her.

"It's more of a condition. There are no such things as demons in my world. I fear for your safety should you be seen."

"This Sesshoumaru can handle...inconveniences of the like."

"Please. Consider it an agreement. I help you come to my world, and in return, you don't leave the shrine."

"You are forgetting the favour done to you, in bringing the half-breed."

"Please don't call him that...and I am grateful, I am...but...please...that is all I ask."

"Very well. Let it not be said that this Sesshoumaru is unreasonable. I accept your bargain, but I require one more favour."

"Name it."

"I will do so at a later date, but you are _bound_ to acquiesce to it, understood?"

"And if I don't?"  
"Then there is no bargain."

She frowned a bit then held out her hand.

"Agreed."

He looked at her oddly.

"Oh...right...you don't shake. Never mind. Okay...in order for this to work I will be giving you a Jewel shard. You need only hold on to it." _Please let this work!_

She placed it in his hand, then turned around and jumped in; the familiar ocean of blue light surrounded her; and she peaked behind her.

Sesshomaru didn't even have the decency to act fazed.

She sighed.

_Jii-chan is going to kill me!_

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**Author's Note: Some explanatory notes first: **

**1.****Kagome is wishing on the jewel shards that Sesshomaru can travel through. Since Takahashi sensei hasn't ruled that possibility out I'm using it :p**

**2. Kagome is a really bad example on how to enter into verbal contracts XD**

**3. Much as I love hearing from all of you I must protest to those of you who would only complain about my updating routine. Some of you seem to be under the mistaken impression that I will update if you tell me to several times or if you complain about the length of the chapter. (No, this was not the reason I put this chapter up, I was reading the reviews while editing and replied before posting). The reason why my chapters are short is because they're easier to edit that way (and as I found out) also easier to read. I simply do not have the time to go through large amounts of text proofreading and spellchecking. I do not feel the need to reveal my entire personal life to justify for this; enough to say I have not the time. If I have, I update and if not then no. Not all of you take the time to review every chapter either, so I do not see that this should be such a problem. Lastly, I really must thank the other 99 per cent of you who have been nothing but a delight to hear from. Thank you truly for all your support!**

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	16. Atypical Welcome

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor any of the characters affiliated with it.**

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**Atypical Welcoming  
**

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The first thing Sesshoumaru noticed about Kagome's time was that the air was unpleasantly impure, to the point of being unbearably noxious.

This certainly meant he would have to make his stay much shorter than previously expected.

"Inu-no-nii-chan!"

"Souta!"

The boy in question found himself held up by the throat by a very irate Sesshoumaru.

"Sesshoumaru, put him down."

"The boy is delusional."

"The boy is my little brother, and he was referring to Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru put him down none too gently.

"Souta...this is Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha's elder brother."

"_Half_ – brother." He spat out.

"It's nice to meet you Sesshoumaru...Say...you're a dog-demon too...Wow! You don't have ears like..."

"Souta! Go tell Mama we'll be having a guest for dinner. _Now_!"

He gulped more afraid of his sister's tone, than the angry look on the demon's face.

"I'm sorry about that. He...doesn't know."

"Hn."

"Anyway. I live with my mother, and my grandfather. My grandfather will likely try to purify you...his charms don't work. At all. So...please don't hurt him..."

"I see. Your entire family consists of lunatics. Duly noted. This Sesshoumaru feels not the need to murder those who are innocently idiotic. Yet."

She laughed forcefully.

"Thanks. I think."

He followed her into the house, Inuyasha still perched on his shoulder.

"Oh, goodness! You must be Sesshoumaru. Very pleased to meet you. I am Aya, feel free to simply call me Aya."

"Do not flatter yourself, _human_. This Sesshoumaru will refer to you as he pleases."

She smiled an even bigger smile.

"Welcome to our humble home. I've just made cookies. Would you like some?"

Kagome stared dumbfounded at the incongruence of the picture: Sesshoumaru, in full armour and battle-garb, in her kitchen, being offered _cookies _by her own mother.

Someone must have been ice-skating in hell at that moment.

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**Author's Notes: Quick update between mad mad mad assignment/presentation/research projects/test due-dates. :p I know it's short. Very little time to edit. Thank you for your continued support and my apologies for not having replied to all of you individually. :( Much love and happiness to you all. I will do my best to update again soon. :) Ganbarimasu! (o w o)/**

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	17. Ammends

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I own my ideas however, I make no profit from the publishing of this story.

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**Ammends**

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Sesshomaru placed Inuyasha on the bed. The boy had cried himself out, and was currently asleep.

He took a moment to ponder the young voice, and innocent eyes he had met with a few hours before. It had been a century or so since he'd last seen them – many a-year since that night when the moon had shone black.

"Sesshomaru? I wanted to thank you, really."

"It is time to fulfill the other side of the agreement."

"Yes. What is it?"

"Tell me exactly what he remembers. The favour comes after this."

She paused for a few seconds.

"Well...he thinks it's about eight months or so since his mother died; he says he's been living with you and ran away..."

Sesshomaru nodded.

"He...he talks a lot about you. He told me you saved him from drowning. And that you feed him – more than the villagers – and that he...wants to be like you when he grows up."

"Foolish."

"He...he really looks up to you, you know?"

"This Sesshomaru is aware. Now, before the favour, I request an answer to a particular question."

"Yes?"

"Do you find this Sesshomaru to be heartless?"

She blushed, fumbling with her fingers before finally settling down to answer.

"I thought at first it was so. But...I saw you with Rin-chan, and Jaken, and I felt that Rin-chan could not care for you as she does were you heartless, nor would Jaken be as loyal. Then I thought...about you and Inuyasha...and...he understands it, more so than myself. He told me that you are incapable of expressing emotion, other than through physical acts...he mentioned a few beatings. He takes them as discipline. When he told me...I thought...I wished I'd be able to make you suffer the way you made him suffer...then I realised, you already have..."

She raised her eyes from her lap.

"You lost your father at a young-age...and being the eldest you feel that the most."

"What would the likes of you know?"

"I, too, have lost my father at a young age. I remember him...Souta doesn't really. I think that's painful enough sometimes, but then...you...your father died protecting Inuyasha and his mother. I think that must have hurt you terribly."

"Do not think to pity this Sesshomaru. It is mere anger at having lost the chance to battle him and prove my worth."

She cried then, silent tears that plopped on the floor causing echoes in Sesshomaru's ears.

"You are not heartless Sesshomaru...you...you are heart-_full_...you...can't talk about such things, can you? It is not in your nature...or...it has been forced out of your nature...I do not know...but I know that Inuyasha is aware of this also. Even now...with all the fighting...all the anger...you know...he would never raise the sword to kill you. He may wound you...but he would never dare kill you...because after everything you've put him through he still considers you his brother."

The tears slowed down.

"I can understand there would be anger on your behalf...but please...don't you think it's time for you to move on?"

"You do not understand at all."

"Then, tell me."

"This Sesshomaru has no reason to explain himself to you."

"Just leave the act, and tell me! What could be so important? What did Inuyasha do to make you hate him like that? What could possibly make you, his own _brother_, treat him like dirt...like an animal? Why? All this time I've know Inuyasha...he may call you names, and get angry with you, but he never ever has spoken against your choice to treat him like that. He just bears it. And I, for one, am getting sick of seeing him hurt like that. Your words do him more damage than your fights. And you know how he is...he won't tell me...and I just want to understand...I want him to understand...but he still believes you...believes that he's a worthless, useless half-breed...and...I can't reach him..."

"You are in love with him." She supposed he meant it as a question, despite it having come out as a statement.

"I am."

"Very well then. I will heal him."

"You can do that?"

"Indeed. As for your part of the bargain, once he has regained his memory you must keep him here for another half-a moon. He will be human in that time."

"Alright."

"Be patient, woman, and let me finish."

She flinched.

"This is what you are expected to do in order to fulfill your bargain: you must not tell Inuyasha it was this Sesshoumaru that healed him nor, indeed, that I have seen your time. Fear not, my scent will be long gone by the time he awakens as a half-demon, so that your story can be confirmed. Furthermore, when he is healed you are to travel to the Western lands where we will find him a suitable consort."

"Con...sort?"

"A mate. Whatever you would prefer to call it. As the eldest, it is my duty to him now that he is well past being of age."

"He is only..." She paused realizing she did not actually know how old he was. "And...anyway, you're not mated yet."

"Not yet. As the eldest, the estate resides with me, as does the responsibility of bearing an heir, and furthering the line. My mate has been chosen, now it is Inuyasha's turn, and I have decided Inuyasha must marry a full-demon."

Kagome's eyes widened.

"No! You cannot do that! It's not fair! He loves...he loves...a human...you know he does."

"My half-brother's emotional ties are no concern of mine. If he is willing to be with a half-dead woman, he can certainly get used to having a fully _alive_ demoness."

"But..."

"Remember you are meant to acquiesce."

"But...what about him? Don't you care at all about him?"

"Do you weep for your own heart, or his, woman?"

She stared at him.

"Foolish human. Have you not realized he is not like you? Were he to become yours, he would be condemned to a life-time of loneliness." She tried to say something, but he merely ignored her and continued.

"You say he's suffered, but you, yourself, would add to that suffering."

"H-how?"

"You say you love him. Are you aware of the union rituals of demons, woman? Were he to respond in kind to your feelings, and accept a union with you, he would be binding himself to you."

"We are already bound..."

"Not in that way you are not. Such a union would result only in tragedy, for the life of a human is short, and the bond is permanent. You would be condemning him to live out the entirety of his maturity and old-age without his mate."

"But..."

"Demons only take one mate, though however many concubines, and when that mate dies, they are bound to them. They do not move on, no other person suffices. They wander alone, feeling incomplete. Many have been known to kill themselves in order to be reunited with their consort. You would do that to one you claim you love?"

She paused, and for a moment all that could be heard was her thumping heart.

"So...it's okay to be with him as long as I am not his mate...?" He could hear the hope in her voice.

"Would you show a thirsty man a glass of water knowing full-well you cannot offer him more?"

He heard her swallow slowly.

"So...what am I meant to do?"

"Do whatever you please, as long as you honour your side of the bargain."

"So...you're saying there is no way...?"

"None."

"I see."

"You accept the conditions set?"

She looked down.

"I have no choice, do I?"

"True enough, but that was not what I asked."

"I accept your conditions, Sesshomaru." She ground out bitterly.

"Very well then. You will lead him to his ancestral home, where I shall introduce him to his future consort."

"But…I don't know…"

"Silence!" He took Tessaiga from his hip and brandished it before her. "You can feel it can't you."

Kagome nodded.

"Follow its aura, and so you shall reach your destination."

"But…"

He regarded her silently while she frantically tried to regather her thoughts.

"…what…how am I going to…? What should I tell him?"

"That is not something this Sesshomaru is concerned with. You have given your word, and I shall leave it to you to honour it."

The smells coming from outside were beginning to invade his senses and he felt himself weaken.

" Now, go fetch some cooling cloths. They will be needed, shortly."

He would have to hurry if he didn't want more of his strength to be spent. Silently, he cursed, at his lack of knowledge regarding the girl's world.

"You tarry girl!" He growled.

Kagome stood up.

"You will have your wish Sesshomaru. I will do what I must." She paused and lowered her eyes. "Thank you for…looking after Inuyasha."

He nodded in reply and she left the room quietly.

* * *

Once she had gone he let his attention return to his brother. Again, he let his eyes wander across the younger's face, so similar to his own, and so distinct all at the same time.

More gentle than he had allowed himself to be in a long time he reached out and brushed the hair off the side of Inuyasha's face. In his mind's eye he could still see the little boy who trusted him, who looked up to him, who loved him with all his heart – the little boy whom he had chosen to betray and wound by giving in to selfish needs, and anger; the little boy whose spirit he had broken so early on for no better reason than his own inability to deal with the cruelties of life.

For the first time he could openly admit to his little brother – he had stopped thinking of him as a mere half-breed many-a moon, nay, season before – that he had wronged him; even if Inuyasha would never know exactly what happened, he had a feeling he would understand. He knelt by the side of the bed and tenderly brushed the young one's head, seeking the strength in him to say what needed to be said.

"This Sesshomaru..." He began, and had to stop in order to control the flood of emotion that was threatening to outpour from his heart. Years of denial, and bitterness had only lead to great shame and regret once understanding set in.

"This Sesshomaru, has wronged you, and wishes to apologise...little brother..."

Then, closing his eyes, he let his claws grow, feeling the poison dripping through them, and in one swift motion plunged them into the boy's neck. Hushed words in his mother tongue were uttered swiftly to bring forth forgotten occurrences and seal the boy's recollection of the recent happenings.

_Fight this, and find me. Then we can settle things._

With one smooth movement he stood up and exited through the window before making his way to the well.

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**Author's Note: This chapter is for my dear, dear friend Senchi-chan, who I _know_ has a soft spot for a particular word I've used in reference to Sesshomaru here. :p Thank you so much for putting up with my eccentricities with sarcasm as your sole shield from them XD Lots of huggles and smiles!**

**Also, to all my readers - much love. My apologies for not being able to reply individually of late - time eluded me. Thank you all for your continued support. I hope this chapter is enjoyable. :3**

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	18. Storm And Stress

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters in the following story. Nor do I own the German literary and musical movement Sturm und Drang, which lent itself nicely to the title. Thanks for the suggestion J-kun. :3**

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**Storm and Stress**

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Kagome returned to find Sesshomaru had gone – the open window was testament to that. One look to Inuyasha told her something was wrong: on the side of his neck were green spots.

"Sesshomaru!" She ground out the name. How could she have trusted him?! Inuyasha was already so frail and now he was in danger of _dying_. This was all her fault!

_If I had just subdued him...I wouldn't have needed Sesshomaru...I wouldn't have been desperate enough to need Sesshomaru! _She chastised herself, but to no avail.

This was something Inuyasha would have to pull through on his own strength. She wiped the sweat of his brow, and held his hand lightly - his pulse was erratic, but he wasn't convulsing, so she hoped it was a sign his body was fighting the poison. There was no way to be sure, but then again, there was no other way to check either, so she would just have to trust that Sesshomaru had actually helped – in some manner or other.

He was getting colder, but continued to sweat. Kagome dutifully wiped his face then returned to holding his hand. This was their bond. For now.

She pondered the information Sesshomaru had presented her with. Part of her wanted to cry and disappear into nothingness so that the pain would stop, while the other part kept telling her Sesshomaru had a point. But how could she have known?

"It's not like Inuyasha talks about this stuff with me...and I didn't know...I didn't...I was going to kill him." More tears assaulted her eyes. She felt Inuyasha's pulse beginning to settle, but she wouldn't let go of him. For now, this one moment, he was hers and she wouldn't let go.

* * *

The panicked movements roused Kagome.

"Inuyasha! You're better!" With an exhausted sigh she plopped her head on her the blanket.

The lack of reply soon made her worry again.

"Inuyasha?"

"Get away from me!" He growled.

"What? I…"

"Get away from me!" He let out another gruff exclamation.

"What did I do? Tell me, Inuyasha…please…"

"Fine! Release me and I'll leave you alone so you don't have to worry about anything, Ka-go-me."

"Release…? I'm not…"

"Lying wench! You made it so I couldn't move!"

"I didn't do anything."

"Liar!"

"But I…I didn't!"

"Then, why can't I move?"

"I…I…"

"Fine, have your fun with the half-breed, but do me a favour and go kill yourself when you're done!"

Kagome's hand acted almost instantly.

"Keh! Nice, Kagome. Hit the dog when he's down."

With an incredulous look she got up and ran out of the room. Her sobs fading away echoed in his head for the rest of the afternoon.

Kagome felt her heart pummelled by the harsh words. She didn't understand what had happened. Her eyes spilled her grief anew, over and over until she couldn't breathe and her lungs clutched desperately at little in-breaths.

"Inuyasha…oh, Inuyasha…" She didn't know what had gone wrong. Sesshomaru had said he would be regaining his memory, and that he would be human; only the latter had been fulfilled.

What did he know? What had she done?

With a quivering heart she headed towards her room. She had the find out.

* * *

He was hot and cold and itching to move, but bound. His ears weren't functioning properly – they felt plugged - and the fever was making it hard to keep his eyes open.

Kagome entered the room slowly.

"Get out!"

No answer.

"I said get out."

"I'm sorry." She didn't know what she was apologising for, but the issue was getting him to talk to her. "I'm really sorry…for whatever I may have done, for slapping you. I'm sorry."

He sniffed indignantly.

"I-I made you ramen."

"What? You gonna actually _feed_ your prisoner?" Tears pinched at the back of Kagome's eyes.

"You're not my prisoner. You're just not feeling well. A bit of ramen will give you your strength back."

"No. Being _half-demon_ would get my strength back. Or did you think I hadn't noticed you purified me?" There was so much pain hidden underneath the anger; Kagome thought she would drown.

"I-I didn't! I swear I didn't!"

"Sure! That's why I'm bound to a bed in a place I ain't never seen before with you hanging over me."

"Inuyasha…but…you know me…my name…?"

"Yeah, it's Kagome. What of it?"

"And you don't remember ever being here?"

"Why should I?"

"I…I want to know what you remember."

"I remember everything, Ka-go-me! Every little thing!"

"Like what?" She had to keep calm.

"Like what?!" He asked incredulously. "Like you lying to me, you heartless wench!" He cursed. "As if pretending you gave two blades of grass about me wasn't enough, you had to go and make me…Never mind!"

"Make you what?"

"Cut the act!"

"Make you what, Inuyasha? Please, tell me what I made you."

"A fool, that's what! A right old fool!" The bitterness poured into his eyes. "You lied about caring! You _lied_! Then you skewer me with an arrow just so you can take it out and subdue me like a dog! A _dog_!"

"That wasn't my fault! You know I was possessed! You know I told you to run!"

"The hell you did! I believe the last words were: 'Die, Inuyasha!'"

Something was terribly wrong.

"Now leave me be!"

"Inuyasha, please, listen to me…"

"Don't wanna hear more lies."

Kagome was beginning to become frustrated.

"Well, I'm not leaving until you listen to me."

"Well, I ain't listening. Ya want something, why don't you use the darned collar to make me?"

"I…I wouldn't." But suddenly, she was confronted with all the times she had. "I mean…not without reason..."

He snorted incredulously.

"Making me kiss the ground coz you disagree with me is a reason?"

"No…but…I don't use it like that.

"Yeh, whatever."

They stayed in tense silence for a few moments.

"Just…tell me one thing…" A flicker of shame and doubt crossed his features. "Were you ever honest about being with me…if I turned human?"

Suddenly, it all fell into place for Kagome.

"Oh, Inuyasha. Inuyasha. That wasn't me!"

"What the…? Damn that was a bad lie." He chuckled bitterly.

"No…it wasn't me! It wasn't! It was Kikyo!"

"Kikyo…?" He rolled the name around his mouth feeling it to be strangely familiar.

"Yes. She sealed you. She didn't kill you. She…loved you."

"Keh! Like I'd believe that!"

"Please, Inuyasha, please remember. When I pulled the arrow out…before that you told me I smelled differently."

"A likely story when I can't smell you."

"Please, Inuyasha, please! You've got to believe me." She didn't mean for the tears to come. "I swear to you that wasn't me. I…I never ever want you to change."

For a second it seemed like he was going to argue but then he just furrowed his brow.

"Whatever. It's not like it makes a difference. I'm still cooped up in here."

"You…must be getting hungry."

He didn't answer.

"Can you stand up at all?"

"How the hell could I with your damn charms all over me!"

"I told you, there is no spell. No charm!"

He keh'd while she gently helped him sit up and arranged his pillows to help him stay in that position.

"It's okay Inuyasha. I'll take care of you, I will."

He huffed but his nostrils flared delicately at the scent of ramen.

"Whazzat?"

"Ramen. You'll like it."

Carefully she rolled a few strands of the noodles around the chopsticks offering them to him.

He sniffed the carefully, but then his stomach groaned loudly and he reluctantly began eating.

Kagome's arm was getting sore but she bore it uncomplainingly until the bowl was empty.

"Do you want water?"

He shook his head.

"I really am sorry, Inuyasha, but…you'll remember…I promise." She stroked his hair gently pretending not to notice when he flinched.

"I won't hurt you. I'll take care of you. I'll stand by you." She murmured. "I'll stand by you."

Her soft voice lulled him to sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry I haven't been able to reply individual reviews, but thank you very much for taking the time to give me feedback. I should have the next chapter up soon. Hope you enjoyed this!: 3**

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	19. Pictures in the Night

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

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**Pictures in the Night**

* * *

The next days were trying with Inuyasha moving through his different ages much to Kagome's worry. He would sometimes wake up as his younger self, then in the course of the day revert to his older self – the one who could only remember Kikyo's betrayal and her own subduing moments. He did not struggle as much, and he had begun to regain some of his ability to move. It pained Kagome to no end to see his usually graceful movements awkward and sluggish and know it was owed to her.

The boy-Inuyasha no longer trusted her, no longer opened up with endearing comments and soft words. She bore it, telling herself it was for his sake, all the while weeping inside. He was convinced she had purified him to the point where he no longer bothered to ask why it was he had ended up back in her room or why there was so much missing from his memories. _She'll lie! _He thought to himself over and over, choosing to ignore her kind words, her thoughtful gestures and her warm touches. _She'll lie! She lied! She despises you, really!_

Such thoughts became much too much on one night and his heart trembled painfully. He had had to admit her version of things seemed to make sense, but the shame at being lied to and subdued burned him. In front of Kouga? How could she do it…? Humiliate him like that in front of a contender to her? She must have done it for her own enjoyment! And it hurt him so much that it would be so.

He looked at her, currently kneeling beside the bed, fast asleep, her head resting on her arms on a little edge of the blanket. She had refused to leave his side, even forfeiting school, and had spent everyday apologising to him and trying to explain what had happened. He wouldn't let her, he had decided. She had injured more than his pride, and that was unforgivable. He refused to admit feeling irked by images of her crying coming into his mind more often as of late. He could tell there had been several occasions on which she had cried in relation to him, but part of him didn't want to remember, didn't want to find out.

He sighed softly pondering her sweetness of character in dealing with him as a child. She hadn't punished him, she had spoken to him as to an equal, she had trusted him. But…she hadn't mentioned so much of his past under the pretext that she had wanted him to remember on his own.

He was so lost! What if she _had_ been telling the truth? What if there really was this other person that looked and sounded like Kagome and had wanted him to become human? What if Kagome really…? His mind came to a screeching halt. Kagome didn't! _And she never will!_ He admonished himself silently.

His head was beginning to hurt, and his heart too, more and more often of late. Something in him was warning of treachery, but it didn't point to Kagome. He was so confused. His eyes scurried across her sleeping form and his heart sped up its beat. This! He _knew_ this! Kagome on a moonless night!! He had seen it before, he was certain, but it had been from a different angle. Images of him hung from a spider web, looking upside down at a crying Kagome who despite calls to do otherwise had insisted on saving him; tears falling softly from saddened eyes – compassion for him; tears at seeing him again; tears of laughter merging with sweet smiles...Tears! There had been so many, so many; and all for him. He shook despite himself. Tears! Tears! The ones she had shed for him on their first new moon, the ones when he'd first met Kikyo, when she'd returned to him, when she had thought him dead, when he had thought her dead, when they both thought Kikyo dead…Tears for his pain, for his confusion, for his choices, for his own faults and weaknesses. Tears accompanied by gentle grasps of hands and soft smiles…so _many _smiles! And yes, the subduing…but faced with all his memories he understood that a lot of them had been simply due to lack of choice through his own irritability and fault.

Kagome…His heart began breaking. Kagome! Kagome hadn't…she hadn't ever…she...

Suddenly another moment decided to replay its way through his mind. His eyes glossed over, his hands trembled and he found himself sobbing quietly into the empty night.

Kagome had fought, had done everything in her power to keep him half-demon, to keep him safe from himself. She had kissed him and the sudden recollection of that moment broke his heart further. She had done everything for him and he had repaid her with contempt. He trembled in shame, more tears spilling from already reddened eyes.

_Kagome! Kagome! Kagome! Forgive me!_

His heart broke over and over before the sleeping girl; the first rays of dawn saw him finally slipping into slumber – red, cried out eyes closing for repose.

* * *

**Author's Note: Helloes. I have had not much to write at all, so that will be why I may not have to all of you who reviewed individually, but I would like to thank you SO very much for taking the time to give me feedback! You're wonderful! To Piper - hang in there - sometimes things need to be completely altered in order for them to be remade into something beautiful ;) **

**Thank you all once again from the bottom of my heart! I hope to be able to continue to write things you all enjoy. :D**

* * *


	20. Revolution

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

* * *

**Revolution**

* * *

"Kagome..."

She scrunched her eyes trying to keep the sleep from escaping.

"Kagome!"

She mumbled something then put her head back down.

"Oi! Wench!"

_Why you...!_

She froze. That wasn't a little boy's voice or the angry rasp!

"Inuyasha...?"

"Yeah..."

"Inuyasha!"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time."

"Inuyasha!!" She flung herself in his arms and held him for all he was worth. "It's you! It's really you!!"

"Are you possessed?"

"No, you got hit...on the head. You forgot...a lot of things."

"So..._that's_ how I got here?"

"Yeah..."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Because this is where the medicine was."

"Keh! Haven't you learned yet?! I'm a dog demon. I heal quickly. You wasted two days for nothin'."

She stared at him.

"It's been longer than that Inuyasha."

"Are you trying to fool me?"

"No. It has been two months since we returned."

"Two...?! What the heck did I do?!"

"Well...you helped mom with the cooking, cleaning, washing, played soccer with Souta, talked to Jii-chan about swords, learned to play video games..."

"Oy! You made a house-wife of me?"

"What?! No!"

"And where the heck is Tessaiga?!"

"Under the bed."

"What's it doing there?"

"Well..."

"You're not telling me something. I can smell it!"

Kagome made a face.

"It's…well...you just woke up...I don't want you to have a shock or anything." She tried to steer him off. "You want ramen? I can go make ramen. Just gimme one second and I'll make..."  
"Freeze!" His eyes bore into the back of her skull.

"What happened?"

"Nothing..."

"Kagome!"

"It really wasn't anything..."

"I knew it! I knew it! I hurt you didn't I?"

"Wh-a-a-at?! No! You..."

"I hurt you!" _'My body must have been trying to heal, I turned full demon and I hurt you! I knew it! Stupid wench! You shouldn't of brought me home! Did I hurt anyone else? Miroku? Sango? Your family? Oh...gods...please don't tell me I killed again!'_

She saw helplessly as he crumbled into his own fears.

"Blood...I can't smell blood...did you wash it off? Show me where I hurt you!!"

"Inuyasha!" She grabbed his arms tightly and forced him to look at her. "You didn't hurt me. At all. Or anyone else."

"I...didn't?"

"No. You lost your memory that was all."

"What do you mean...lost...my ?

"Exactly what it sounds like. You got hit on the head, the shock must have jolted your brain, caused some sort of damage which eventually got healed, and in the meantime, you forgot...things."

"Things like what?" He didn't sound convinced.

"Like...how to use Tessaiga."

"You're kidding! You _have_ to be kidding!" He thought he was going to collapse from shame.

Kagome shook her head.

"I was worried Inuyasha. I didn't know how much you would remember...or if you would even remember at all."

"Was that all I forgot?"

She looked away.

"Kagome!"

"You forgot a bit more..."

"How much more?" His voice trembled slightly.

"Everything...the Jewel...Naraku...our friends..._everything_."

"Not you..."

Kagome nodded.

"How?! How?!"

"I told you how."

"So I forgot everything? I forgot who I was? I forgot where I was meant to be? Was that why you used me as a house-wife?!"

"Wh-at?!"

"You said I did all that crap! I don't even know how to play them bii-di-oh gee-mus! You...you _wanted_ me to change after all! You wanted me to be like one of them poncy boys you have here in your time!!"

She could only stare in shock.

"Didn't think I'd catch on, didja?!"

Neither of them saw the slap coming, but in an instant Inuyasha's cheek began to throb.

"You...you were a child!"

"What?!"

"You were a child! Ok? That's what happened. You thought your mother's death was less than a year ago."

"You're lying!" The words were ground out.

"I am not! You...didn't know about the Jewel. You told me about the villagers...about how they hurt you."

"Lies! No one can hurt me! I'm strong!"

"You told me! How Sesshomaru saved you from drowning...how you wanted to be like him...how..." Her voice caught. "...how you missed your mother."

"No. You can't know about that! Only...Sesshomaru...he _told_ you! That's how you know! All this crap about me losing my memory and that...it's all lies!"

"You told me why you don't like turning human."

He shook his head more and more fervently.

"And that...your mother cried for you when the villagers wouldn't let you play ."

"Shut up! Shut up! I didn't...I couldn't...I..."

"Inuyasha...it's okay...it's okay..."

"Shut up! My mother...my mother...she...I...you know don't you?! You know! You know I'm a monster...just how much of a monster I am...don't you?! Don't you?!"

The soft pressure against his cheek made him pause.

"You are not a monster."

"I killed my mother."

Her hands moved up his face, cradling it, bringing it closer to her own.

"Your mother was stabbed. You walked in on her as she died. She told you to run."

"They killed her because of me!" The rawness in his voice made her throat almost close. She kissed his cheek softly.

"They killed her because they were angry and ignorant and stupid. That is not, and _never_ will be, your fault."

He turned his face away but she gently guided him back.

"Look at me. _You_ told me. It's done. You are not a monster. Please, Inuyasha, your younger self trusted me...please, _please_ trust me too."

"Kagome..."

"Please..."

"Now...you know...everything..."

"More or less."

"Damn it!" His fist smacked against the blanket. "You didn't...you shouldn't...I didn't want you to know!!"

"Why?"

"Because I knew you'd do this! You'd...cry for me...you'd _feel_ for me...you'd do all those things that Kagome does that make me feel useless."

"Useless? You're not useless...and I was glad to help."

"Right..."

"I was! You were such a sweet child." She cooed. "And you've been through so much...and you weren't useless at all...you helped out and everything. You even helped me study." She giggled remembering his attempt at English. "You were very sweet."

"Keh!"

"Inuyasha, listen to me, I don't care what happened in the past; or what you _think_ happened. Inuyasha is Inuyasha, and that is enough for me."

"Kagome." He contented himself with resting his head on top of hers.

After a few moments he suddenly bristled.

"Kagome...!"

"Yes, Inuyasha."

"I...slept with...we...together...same..."

Kagome smiled.

"You were a child, whose mother had just died, and you had nightmares."

"Look at me!" He gesticulated wildly. "Do I _look_ like a child?!"

"You _were _a child trapped in an adult's body."

"But..."

"No 'buts'. You needed someone. I was there. End of story."

"Kagome..."

He hid his reddening face in her hair again.

"I'm gonna stand by you, like I promised."

"Kagome..." He nuzzled her hair lightly.

"As long as you want."

Her heart was dying with each word.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thank you all so very much for your continuous support. I'm doing my best to finish this story, and I apologise if I haven't been able to reply to you individually. Thank you once again and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. :D**

* * *


	21. Scents

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

* * *

**Scents

* * *

  
**

The idea wracked her mind as well as her heart.

She knew she couldn't bring Sango and Miroku into the picture – she had a feeling Sesshomaru wouldn't have allowed it – but arranging to make such a journey without them, and without Inuyasha noticing, was a daunting task.

She didn't like lying, and Inuyasha would likely be able to smell it on her anyway.

_There must be some charm to disguise such things_, she thought but was ashamed at the thought of charming Inuyasha.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh…I…can't sleep."

He snorted and for a moment she was afraid he could tell she was lying, but then:

"S'ok, Kagome…I'll…I'll still remember when you wake."

Her heart stopped for a moment, and tears came to her eyes. She couldn't do it! She couldn't betray him like that.

"Inuyasha…"

"Hmm?"

"I…" Sesshomaru's warnings cried out in her head and she bit her lip. "I just…was wondering if you're comfortable…on the floor."

"Keh. I'm fine!"

"I mean…we've shared before, and…"

In a heart-beat he was beside her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

She would have to give him up, but until then…until _then_ she would have him.

_Forgive me, Inuyasha!_

The warmth of his arms surrounded her until she felt no more.

* * *

She was falling, deeper and deeper. It was so cold, and she was so alone. Scared.

A ray of light shone through – warm, golden, impossibly sad eyes and a beseeching voice.

She found herself incapable of calling back. Tears streamed down her face.

_Inuyasha!_

The voice called her louder still. She reached out a hand. Blood! Her hand was drenched in blood.

It was then the words the voice had been calling out made themselves understood:

_Traitor! Liar! _ And stronger still: _Why? Why?!_

She couldn't speak. Couldn't tell him. In desperation she tried to grab hold of him. He floated further away.

She was pinned to her spot. Around her everything turned blood red while she screamed his name in her mind.

_Inuyasha!_

"Inuyasha!!"

"What's wrong?"

She opened her eyes and found herself reflected in the same pair of eyes she'd been dreaming about.

"Inuyasha!"

Before she could even process what was going on she'd latched tightly on to him and pressed trembling lips to his head fervently.

_Inuyasha! Inuyasha! Inuyasha!!_

He tried to speak but thought better of it, and merely wrapped his arms around her in return.

"I'm sorry…"

She pulled away abruptly.

"Keh!"

But he was blushing as well.

"Tell me about it?"

She started.

"It's…it's nothing…"

"Oi, you reek of fear. I can tell, y'know…"

She bit her lip.

"Come'ere." He spoke softly, enveloping her in his arms again. "If ya don't wanna talk bout it, just go to sleep. I'm gonna be here, so y'ain't gotta worry."

His sudden tenderness was tearing at her heart.

"Inuyasha…"

How could she…? How could she betray him? Even for his own good?

Tired, she laid her head on his chest, and was surprised to find his heart thundering as fast as her own.

"Inuyasha…?"

"You screamed my name…I thought we were being attacked…what else could I make of it…?"

She burrowed deeper into his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"S'ok. Whatever it was, musta been pretty bad…"

"How can you tell?"

"Scent." He shrugged. "I could hardly smell anything other than your fear…"

His words struck a chord and suddenly she knew her answer.

"I…It was…" She decided to try something small at first. "It was Naraku…"

When no correction was made, she continued.

"Naraku…he'd attacked…and, and….there was so much blood…and then the shards…"

"Calm down…you're safe now." He murmured. Still no reprimand, no sign of noticing.

"I…they got hurt…there was so much blood."

"It was a nightmare."

This was it! If she could do this…

She opened her mouth and the treacherous words poured out of her much easier than expected:

"I know where four of the shards are."

"What?!"His voice made her heart thump against her ribcage. "How?!"

Closing her eyes, and willing herself to calm down she let the noose of words tighten around them further.

"It wasn't a nightmare…it was a premonition…"

She closed her eyes and waited, waited to be called a liar, to be yelled at for making stuff up, instead:

"Tell me everything…"

She opened her mouth once more and began spinning a tale that would be believable, a tale that would involve the search for the shards in a certain direction, a tale that would involve leaving Miroku, Sango and Shippo behind.

And inside her mind, she continued screaming, while the blood poured thickly off her trembling hands.

* * *

**Author's Note: Here we are! :) Thank you all for your kind patience and your wonderful and encouraging words. I do apologise for not replying to you individually. Also, apologies for any typos. It's pretty mad in my little dictionary at the moment. :p I will do my best to put up the next chapter soon. Until the next time, toodles!  
**


	22. A New Day

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, nor the characters therein.

* * *

**A New Day**

**

* * *

  
**

When at last, by the grace of some remote god or other, Inuyasha fell asleep, she continued to stare into the dark nothing of the night. She couldn't cry. She had _no right_ to cry! Not when she'd embarked on this journey of treachery. Not when she had convinced Inuyasha to go with her, where the shards supposedly were hidden, not when she was going to hand him over to a brother who'd shown little apart from disdain in all their meetings, not when she knew she would be killing him anyway by condemning him to a loveless marriage. No, she had _no right_ at all.

Carefully untangling herself from the covers, and _him_, she headed towards the bathroom.

She looked little better than many of the cursed spirits she'd encountered on her journeys: her eyes were weary and dull, rimmed by large, heavy dark circles; her skin was lacklustre and faded, her hair limp and shapeless. If she hadn't been able to feel her heartbeat she would have expected herself to fade as she was standing.

She was actually beginning to resemble Kikyo: her mouth was harder set, her eyes darker, her gaze more sombre.

She cursed Sesshomaru, and then herself, and then splashing water on her face she looked in the mirror again.

Some colour had returned to her cheeks, but overall, the ghost-vibe hadn't completely left her. She frowned.

No! This would not do at all! She'd entered into this, and she'd have to pull through. Even if by the skin on her teeth. She would keep her word. She would go to Sesshomaru's dwelling place. She would travel on her own with Inuyasha. She would pretend nothing had changed. She would give Inuyasha away.

And she would have to do it all with a smile on her face.

Somewhere in the distance, she thought she heard the gods of fate cackle.

* * *

"So, which direction were we heading…?" He reached a hand to help her out of the well.

Kagome hummed for a moment then pointed.

"You sure?"

She nodded.

"And we can't tell Miroku and Sango…"

She shook her head. "If they follow us it might come true…"

"Your premonition thing?"

"Yeah…" She swallowed hard.

"Keh! Well, we're just gonna have to hurry then. Come, hop on!" He crouched.

When she was safely seated he straightened again.

"Alright, lead the way."

* * *

"Wench!"

"Hmm…?"

"You ok?"

"Yeah…why?"

"You haven't asked for a break yet." He adjusted his arms around her knees and pushed her up slightly.

"I…I just wanna get this over with."

Inuyasha just keh'd in reply, and the next few hours till sunset melted into the silence between the two.

"We should probably stop for the night." He murmured. "You must be tired."

Her mind screamed at his sudden consideration for her.

"I'm fine."

"Wench, you haven't eaten all day."

"I'm not hungry."

"Don't matter. You have to eat. Can't have you fainting on me or something."

"Why? Coz I'm just human? You think I can't go without food? You think _you're _the only one who can go without food or sleep?"

"No, coz given the choice _I_ wouldn't have either." His bitter words were like a slap to her.

"Let me down."

"Wha'? Hold on a sec, there's gotta be a place nearby where we can stop."

"Let me _down_!"

"What's wrong wench?"

"Let me _down_!!!"

He loosened his arms and let the wriggling girl slip to the ground.

"Kagome…"

"I'm…I need…I need a hot spring!" She spoke more to herself.

"That's what I was trying to say. I can smell one near here. If you get on, it'll only take…"

"No!"

"No what?"

"I…I wanna walk."

She stared at the ground.

"I wanna walk, _please_."

She missed the pained look on his face as he answered.

"Come on then."

And they were off again.

* * *

When at last the spring came into view, Kagome was relieved.

Mumbling a quick request to Inuyasha to set up camp, she was gone before he could even reply.

The tears came even before she hit the water. She cursed and cursed and cursed again, in her mind or out loud, she wasn't quite sure. She cried and she cursed, and she wished she had some powerful saké on hand. _Really_ powerful saké. She wiped her tears messily. Or maybe arsenic. Either one would have done fine as far as she was concerned.

Her heart shook and broke, her body trembled and her eyes couldn't stop melting into messy, stinging, hot tears.

_Stupid eyes! _She thought mutinously.

Inuyasha's warmth was still imprinted in her body, in her every pore. His soft hair tickling her face as they rode against the wind, tangling in her eager fingers; his voice reverberating inside the four chambers of her heart – it was all too much! Too much! She couldn't give him up!

But she had to.

Wiping her eyes once again, she splashed more water on her face and forced a smile. It didn't work. She tried again. Still nothing. Infuriated she slapped herself.

She had to keep her word. She couldn't blow her entire plan because of how she felt. She had to do this for Inuyasha! She had to! Another attempted smile, and another and another until she was grinning like some grotesque Cheshire cat.

When at last she was pleased with the results she got out of the water and headed back.

_I'm not allowed to love him._ She bit her lip and pushed the thought away. _I cannot have him_. She shook her head, suddenly empowered: _No…I will give him up when the time comes, and not before!_

Satisfied, she pushed aside the branches and stepped into the clearing.

Inuyasha was poking at the fire with a stick. He looked much older in the flickering light. Sombre.

"Thank you for that Inuyasha."

He didn't reply, and she headed towards her bag to get some food.

"Which flavour ramen would you like?"

He shrugged.

"What's wrong?"

He raised his head but quickly averted his eyes and turned back to poking the fire. She saw him shake his head a couple of times, but no answer left him.

"Inuyasha?"

He didn't even grace her with a turn of his head. Kagome's heart leaped: did he suspect something?

"Why aren't you talking to me?"

He turned his head sharply and looked at her with uncertainty.

"You…_want _me to talk to you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

He huffed.

"Maybe coz you can't stand to be around me for even a day." He started off angrily, then seeing Kagome's reaction he stopped.

"Am I _that_ bad?"

"What? No! Of course not! You're not bad at all."

"Then are you disgusted by me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

Kagome froze and tried to pick her words carefully.

"I'm not. And you are not disgusting to me."

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow.

"You don't talk to me all day, and when you do it's all how you can't wait to get this thing done with. I'm not stupid. You meant you couldn't wait till you weren't with me anymore!"

He turned his head away abruptly not wanting her to see how much it hurt him.

Kagome bit her lip. This was all her fault. If only she could have controlled her feelings better from the start.

"Inuyasha. I'm really sorry." She walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm…I've just got a bit on my mind now. I promise you it's nothing you did. I'm sorry. I didn't…I was…I'm just worried."

"About what?"

"I…I guess what I saw stuck with me." That much was true, she could see the blood everytime she closed her eyes.

"You know I'll keep you safe."

"I do. I just don't know if I can keep _you_ safe."

"Keh! I can handle myself."

She caressed his cheek.

"I know."

He turned his head to look at her in shock.

"Ka-gome…"

But her hand had already left his face.

"I'm tired." She smiled weakly. "I'm going to go to bed."

"But you didn't eat…"

"I'm not very hungry. Good night."

"You too."

He watched unwaveringly over her for the rest of the night.

* * *

**Author's Notes: I know it's been a while, and I want to thank all of you for your continued support. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often from here onwards. Yoroshiku ne, mina-san. :)**


	23. And Closer

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters therein, which are all the property of Rumiko Takahashi.

* * *

**And Closer**

* * *

The nightmares didn't dull with time and every morning she invariably woke up tightly clutching Inuyasha's haori. Embarrassment had evaporated after the first few times. Some part of her was comforted by it; the other part wished it could stop the time flow at those moments.

It was decidedly strange, travelling without the others – especially after so many years. There had been a change in the way they moved around each other; without the need to keep up appearances. Inuyasha was much calmer, and more open to conversation.

She liked it. They were almost like a married couple. Her heart tore over the thought that this was as close as they were going to get, but she forced herself to smile again. If it was for him, it would be worth it.

"Kagome."

The silences weren't unpleasant, but more often than not he was the one breaking them. It made her smile every time.

"Yes, Inuyasha."

"I was a bother."

She cocked her head, wondering what he was referring to.

"Earlier. When I…didn't remember. I was a bother."

He was apologising?

"You were not. It was nice to be able to help you for once." Then as an afterthought added: "In a way that did not involve bandaging you up and praying you'd make it through the night."

"Just…how…I mean…and your mother…" He huffed, annoyed with his inability to get the words out. "Why did you keep me?"

"Do you really think you have no place in our house?"

"I have no place anywhere."

"That's not true. You…_we_, we are family." It was so true. It was so easy – easy to tell him how loved he was, easy to love him, easy to take his heart and hold on to it forever; but her promise wouldn't let her. She had decided, however. He would know love, he would know of _her_ love, even if not in words; and he would not be surrendered until the last possible minute.

His eyes peeped shyly from under his fringe.

"I wish it were true."

"It _is_ true!"

"Not that." He shook his head. "I wish…I wish I'd known you sooner."

Kagome just smiled.

"You'll have plenty of time to know me from here on in."

"Kagome!" He spoke quite urgently all of the sudden. "When we get back…will you…? I mean…What will you do?"

"Stay like this, I suppose."

"Good."

She looked at him curiously: "I suppose it is."

He grasped the tip of her fingers in his, timidly.

"_Good_." He said again and smiled.

Her heart continued its lament.

* * *

"How much longer Kagome?"

She closed her eyes and felt for the aura:

"I'd say we're pretty near…maybe", she paused, "…a few more days…?"

Inuyasha nodded silently.

"Anything the matter?"

"No…It's just…"

"Yes?"

"Forget it." He shook his head, while his ears twitched madly.

Kagome swallowed slowly.

_Does he realize? Does he recognise the place?_

They continued to walk side by side through the lush forest. Inuyasha's hand reached out for hers as it was wont to do of late, and she squeezed back. Something was bothering him, she knew.

"Tell me?"

The sounds of falling footsteps was her only reply.

* * *

Slowly, the dusk caught up with them scattering their path with shadows.

A twinkling sea of stars flowed onto the blushing crevasse of sunset. The wind slowed its frolicking for the night. Kagome hummed as she moved about trying to prepare the dinner. The feel of Inuyasha's fingers around her hand was still sharp. She took a deep breath and turned her eyes on him. Slightly hidden by the shadows, his chin resting on Tessaiga, his eyes far off, his loneliness called to her.

Picking up the ramen cup she walked to him.

"Dinner, Inuyasha."

His ears twitched and he hummed absently. She set the cup next to him and squeezed his shoulder briefly before turning and going to take her own dinner. The sound of noodles being slurped leisurely filled the small clearing and she began to feel self-conscious.

"What's the matter?"

He didn't answer; merely turning his head enough to throw a guilty glance at her before lowering his gaze to the cup in his hands.

Kagome sighed:

"Let's just enjoy our meal."

"Icanttellyou!"

Her glance snapped back to him. Not even his bangs could hide the blush taking over his face.

"Erm…?"

"I don't…I can't…I don't know how to…to…say it."

"Say what?"

"It's…I…I…this…why are we heading to Sesshomaru's fortress?"

Kagome's heart stopped.

"S-s-seshoumaru's…?"

"I din't mean to yell…it's just…"

She could barely hear him through the chaos in her head.

"It's…it's bringing back stuff…"

And suddenly it all became clear to her. She wanted to cry at her own callousness. Of _course_ he'd be uncomfortable going this way! Of _course_ he'd remember!

"I'm…oh Inuyasha." She moved over to him and gathered him in her arms as she used to when he didn't have his memory. "I'm so _so _sorry."

"Keh." The obvious misunderstanding of her apology tugged even more on her heart.

"I'm…"

"You're using your powers. Comin' back here was gonna happen sooner or later." He mumbled more to himself.

She continued to brush his hair.

"I _am_ sorry."

"You shouldn't." But he didn't try to escape her embrace.

Slowly the embers dimmed, and the shadows cloaked the camp grounds.

"You should go to bed…" He said, when the sky had become ink-dark, but she did not reply.

Squirming in her grip, he tilted his head up; head bowed, face framed by thick hair, Kagome was already asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thank you, once more, for the ongoing support. Circumstances made it impossible to update any earlier than this. :( But, it's so wonderful to see people are still reading this. ^^;; I'm very happy and thankful~! I hope you'll all continue to enjoy this piece :D**


	24. Twisted

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**Twisted**

* * *

Last time. Last _time! Last_ time!!! Oh gods! The last time! The last time she could hold him without him getting flustered, the last time she would feel the heat from his body warming her while they flew, the last time she would _get_ to fly, the last time she would be able to rest his head on his shoulder and whisper sweet little nothings in his ear. Her heart was frantic with pain.

"What's wrong, Kagome?"

His voice broke through the cycle of misery going in her mind.

"Hm? Nothing."

"You smack of worry."

Well, being told she stank wasn't exactly romantic, but it was part of his way of expression – a part she would miss. Better put: _another_ part she would miss.

"Oh...well...I guess...I guess I'm still thinking about _it_."

"The premonition?"

She hated lying to him:

"Yes."

"You're worryin' bout nothing, silly. Sango and Miroku and Shippo will be fine since they're not here, and you're with me."

"I know...and, it's not that...I just...what if something happens while we're away? You're the strongest of all of us..."

"Geez, woman, we can't be in two places at the same time. Now, quit worrying. They're fine. The monk's prob'ly busy pissing Sango off."

"I know...you're right."

His ears twitched and a smirk overtook his features. Now _that_ wasn't something he heard often.

Kagome bunched her hands into his haori, tighter, tighter, until it felt every fibre would be imprinted in her skin.

"Hey, watch it!"

She hadn't realised it would cause some discomfort to him.

"Sorry."

He gently put her down. "What's wrong?"

Her head lowered, her bangs shading her eyes. His hand touched her shoulder and she nearly jumped.

"Kagome…"

"I…I'm…"

She was pulled away before she could finish her sentence. The ground disappeared from under her feet, and dimly she could hear Inuyasha shouting for her.

Something hard dug into her back.

"You have served me well, indeed, little priestess."

* * *

Inuyasha followed, cursing his brother all the while.

"Put her down!!!"

Sesshomaru descended, Kagome in tow.

"Inuyasha, it certainly has been a while."

"Not long enough, you b-…"

"Now, now, we'll have none of that." His blade pressed on Kagome's throat. "Come now. You have come such a long journey, you might as well come in." Before them the fortress opened.

Inuyasha drew Tessaiga:

"I don't care if I kill you here, or inside."

Sesshomaru merely nicked Kagome with his sword in reply.

"Let Kagome go!"

"Hmmm…no, I don't think I will." He purred. "She is, after all, very _valuable_ to me."

Inuyasha clenched his grip on the Tessaiga.

"I might just have to keep her. She has been a most faithful servant, haven't you, little priestess?"

Kagome swallowed hard, and willed herself not to cry.

"What?!"

"Tell me, Inuyasha, how does it feel? When you are betrayed by the woman you love..._again_?"

Kagome just wished she could disappear at Sesshomaru's dispassionate question. Inuyasha flinched.

"She ain't betrayed me...she had a premonition. It led to you...bad luck, s'all."

Sesshomaru smirked.

"Premonition, she told you so?" He turned to Kagome. "I admit you deserve some credit for that concept. It served you well, in the end." She bit her lip to keep herself from crying.

"You...lied?"

She couldn't answer. She _couldn't_.

"Oh, come now, little brother. You ought to be thanking the girl. At least one of you has a good head on their shoulders."

"What are you on about?"

"You didn't think I didn't notice, did you? Distant I may be, but I am not unobservant."

"Shut up and tell me what you want."

"Now, Inuyasha, that doesn't even make sense. How can I _possibly_ tell you anything if I'm shutting up?"

Inuyasha reddened.

"Just say what you want from me!"

Kagome could see him falling apart even as he continued to word-spar with Sesshomaru. Her heart broke alongside his. She knew of her own innocence, of the circumstances, but the reality was she had lied to, and betrayed, Inuyasha – and hurt him irrevocably in the process.

"A promise."

"What?"

"A promise in exchange for the girl's life. What do you say?" The sense of deja-vu was making Kagome feel sick.

"Fine, anything, whatever." She didn't think she could possibly hurt anymore – his words proved her wrong. He was still thinking of her safety...despite everything that had just happened he still...Tears threatened to overwhelm her but she tried her best to keep them in check.

"Mating. You must mate the demoness I have chosen for you."

"What?"

The surprise, the slimy fingers of dread squeezing his stomach, the raw anger in his eyes – oh, how well she knew them all.

Sesshomaru tugged on her hair slightly to make his point.

"Tomorrow. She will be presented to you. You will be given an hour to make each other's acquaintance. She will be sitting behind a shoji, silent. You, and this is in no way optional, will tell her everything about you. Every single little thing. No exceptions. Before the union the two future consorts must come to each other with no secrets. I wager on her behalf she has none."

Inuyasha was seething.

"What kinda crazy idea is that?! You want me to tell a stranger...stuff...about me?"

It sounded even more ludicrous when he said it.

"That is precisely right. And I _will _be listening, so I suggest you don't try anything, else I snap the priestess' throat before you even reach the door."

Inuyasha opened his mouth then shut it abruptly. His ears lowered in defeat.

"Fine. I'll mate a demoness I don't know and I'll tell her all about me...just...don't kill Kagome."

If her heart broke anymore she thought she would die. On further consideration, death seemed quite welcoming to her at the present time.

"Oh, come now, Inuyasha. She will make you an acceptable mate."

He nodded mutely.

"You really ought to thank the little priestess for doing this, you know?"

Both of them cringed.

"She may have betrayed you..." He spoke slowly, letting the words drip their poison. "..._but_, at least she had a clear vision of the future. Clear enough to try and spare you any more pain."

"Thanks Kagome." Inuyasha mocked. "You needn't have bothered. I'm a half-breed. Pain is all I'm _meant_ to feel."

His words cut her already bleeding heart to shreds; tears began falling despite desperate efforts to stop them.

"Now, now, Inuyasha. Do not be so harsh on the girl. After all, she was willing to give up on the man she loved to grant him a happier life."

Inuyasha froze.

"What?"

"She knew that a mating between a human and a youkai...or a hanyou..." He sneered on the last word "...could only lead to tragedy once the human died, and she was willing to sacrifice her happiness for your comfort and longevity."

Inuyasha's face was so white she thought he would faint.

"What did you say?"

"Little brother, you really must pay more attention. I said: the little priestess, for some reason entirely beyond normal logic, loves you; and to such an extent that she would willingly give everything up to ascertain your safety and happiness – even if it doesn't include her."

"You!" He seethed. "You!!!" All the blood returned to his cheeks in a mad swirl; flames sparked in his eyes. "You damn heartless bastard! _You_ told her didn't you?! You..." He reached for the Tessaiga.

"I wouldn't do that, after all, by the time you even get to invoke your little gust of wind, she would already be dead, and we don't want that, do we?" He mocked.

Inuyasha closed his eyes in defeat.

"You had to go and tell something like that to the one human who couldn't be selfish if their life depended on it." He chuckled bitterly. "Good one, Sesshomaru. Good one." He snorted. "Are you happy now at least? Shall I give you Tessaiga on top of that? In fact, you know what, take everything else from me, too...oh, wait...I _have_ nothing else." He shook his head trying to ignore the pungent scent of Kagome's tears. They were all just puppets in an all-too-sick play.

"I don't get it. Why don't you just kill me now? After all, that's what you've wanted since I was born. Just do it. I have nothing else left to do anyway. And if you hurry, you may still have enough time to change your blood soaked clothes before dinner."

"Come now, Inuyasha. You are being entirely too dramatic. I am merely trying to ensure your happiness in the long term. I'm sure your infatuation with this girl will fade."

He was so broken, Kagome realised, that Sesshomaru's words didn't even fluster him.

"Now, Kagome shall stay with me overnight since you must spend the time preparing for your bride tomorrow. Do not fear, she is quite pleasant-looking, and she doesn't much mind half-breeds. It is most rare. The little priestess and I shall take our leave of you presently."

"You can't take her."

"Indeed I can, and I shall. I tire of this argument, Inuyasha. You know very well any opposition may come at the cost of her life."

"But...!"

"We shall dine together..."

"I'd rather starve!" Kagome spat out; Sesshomaru continued unperturbed:

"...then we shall discuss a few matters, after which we will be retiring for the night."

"Fine, just don't do anything to her."

"Most certainly not, as long as you remain co-operative. After all, she has done _so_ much for my little brother."

Both Kagome and Inuyasha gaped at the lack of sarcasm on the words.

"Now, little priestess, let us go to the main house where the feast is prepared. Inuyasha, your food shall be brought here. You must spend the night readying yourself. You _do _ know what it is expected of you at the ceremony, indeed?"

He nodded blankly.

"Very well then."

* * *

The room was suddenly too dark, too big, too small and hot and humid. Inuyasha burned and shivered at the same time. He sank to his knees, digging his claws into the tatami.

_Kagome...I'm so sorry.

* * *

_**Author's Note: Thank you so much for all the reviews! I'm so happy to know there are still some of you reading and enjoying this story. ^_^ **_  
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	25. From the Heart

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**

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. All the characters and the realm belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

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**From the Heart  
**

* * *

"You play your role most convincingly, priestess."

Kagome refused to answer.

"Now, do try the food. It was especially prepared to cater to your preferences."

"I'm not hungry."

"Priestess, do not irate me! You _must _eat. What is planned for you cannot stand without you having eaten before hand."

"Oh great, we have a programme?" She quipped bitterly.

"This Sesshomaru does not care very much for your language, girl. You have spent entirely too much time in the presence of my little brother."

"What?"

"Although, I must admit, _that_ particular expletive is new to me."

"Programme?" She asked, sincerely confused.

"Indeed." Sesshomaru sniffed delicately.

"It...is not...an expletive." Kagome was almost horrified – as much as her current, emotionally blank state would allow. "It is a word meaning a planned...routine...of sorts."

"I see. At any rate it will not keep you from eating."

"I won't eat!"

"I will make you, if need be, and I assure you: it shall be pleasurable for neither of us."

Kagome gulped and reached for the nearest plate. Heartache, she found, didn't do wonders for the appetite, but it bore great impact on the need for alcohol.

"No more than a goblet, priestess." Sesshomaru warned.

"What, are you my mother now?" She was beyond caring.

"No, but, it will interfere with the routine."

"So?"

"Indeed, you strike quite the resemblance to my brother."

"Great, anytime I miss him I can just curse at myself."

"You will not miss him, priestess."

"This better not be the beginning of a proposal, Sesshomaru."

He chuckled humourlessly:

"Indeed not. I already am promised. No, it is not a proposal."

"Then, what do you want?"

"To thank you. For taking care of Inuyasha, as you've had."

Kagome's eyes snapped to him in confusion.

"A toast!" Sesshomaru announced royally. "To gratitude!"

Kagome sipped more out of reflex, and still in shock."

"Sesshomaru…" Her voice was gravelly. The room become unbearably bright. "Sess…" She tried to move, but couldn't.

"Rest, little priestess." He whispered softly before the world went black.

* * *

Inuyasha spent the night in agony. He'd had Kagome! She loved him! She _loved _him! She loved _him!_ And now he had lost her forever. His tortured mind argued that, at least in this way, she would have a long and safe life in her world; but images of her surrounded by other men tore at his already broken heart. He had been a right fool, and now he didn't even have the chance to tell her how much she meant to him. If he even tried to find her and run away, he knew, Sesshomaru would make good of his promise to kill her. He hated admitting it, but there was no running from his brother. Besides, it was a matter of honour. He had given him his word – even if it had been under duress. He hung his head.

_Kagome!

* * *

_

The unforgiving rays of dawn scratched his wet cheeks.

He awoke grog gily, every particle of him aching with the loss of Kagome. He splashed water on his face. He had a duty, and he was going to go through with it! With a sigh, he ran his fingers gently over the locket at his throat. _Kagome! Goodbye, Kagome!_

He exited the room glumly.

* * *

True to Sesshomaru's word there was a person behind the shoji in the richly furnished room. Kagome's scent wafted from the adjoining room, mingled with that of his brother. This was it. He had to go through it, lest he endanger Kagome's life. Kneeling dutifully, he bowed. The person on the other side of the screen imitated his movements.

"I'm Inuyasha, your future mate." It felt so odd to hear himself say that. He almost sounded like Kouga. He bristled and his heart ached remembering all their fights over Kagome. _Kagome!_ He had to do this for her!

"You're not supposed to speak, are you?" He said remembering Sesshomaru's words the previous day. The girl nodded. There was a familiar tinge to her scent, but he was passed the point of caring.

"So, anyway, I have to apparently tell you all about me. Something to do with starting a relationship based on trust. Keh." He snorted. "I don't even know you!" He paused. "I ain't saying that's your fault or nothin'. Anyway...me...well...first up, I'm a half-breed." He closed his eyes. It was so unnatural for him to talk about himself. "I was born on the seventeenth day of the seventh month in the second year of the reign of Emperor Go-Nijō. My father died protecting my mother and I...and my brother never let me forget it." He muttered. "My mother was mortal. She was beautiful, and I loved her." He paused, trying to regain control over his voice.

"She took good care of me, raised me, kept me safe then she died. The cold blade did no wonders for her weak constitution." He chuckled mirthlessly. "Anyway, after that I came to live with my half-brother. I idolised him and made excuses for him while he continued to take out our father's death on me. Enough to say, I ran away when I realised he wasn't gonna welcome me any time soon. I ain't angry with him no more or nothin'. He has his own problems."

The person coughed softly and he blushed realising he had been babbling.

"Right...anyway, I was chased, hunted, thrown out of villages, and other things that happen when you're a half-breed. Had my share of hatred and humi..." He shook his head. "Nevermind. Fair to say when I met a person who offered me a scrap of bread, as opposed to throwing a whole one old enough to feel like a rock, I became smitten. Didn't hurt that she was real pretty. So, I fell in love."

He had a sharp in-take of breath from the other side.

"Don't get too excited now." He said bitterly. "I loved her because she was kind, and understanding and special and because she knew how I felt. We...we were gonna make a life together. She was the guardian of the Shikon Jewel, y'see. She said one day, she says: 'We're the same you and I.' and I was puzzled, but then she explained how I'm a half-demon and I can't be either human or demon, and she is a human who must act like she's not a human." He sighed. "Made sense when she said it. We were both alone, and she wanted me to become human – that way we could both be just human and stay together. I know she wanted children...pups. A whole lot of them. Woman had a lot of heart to share." Another sigh. "Too much heart. And it killed her. See, at that time she was taking care of this brigand whose body was so burned he couldn't move. He lusted after her." His words dripped with disgust. "For all her wit she was too innocent to realise it. Man offered his soul to demons to have her, then, on the day she was meant to meet me to make me human he makes himself to look like me, and attacks her. Kikyo is mad with anger, comes, sees me with the jewel, shoots me with an arrow and seals me to a tree for eternity."

He sighed.

"Those years were the most peaceful of my entire life. No fighting, no insults…only Kikyo's face haunting me. I hadn't known about the other guy, y'see. I thought she just betrayed me...that she had lied to me." He closed his eyes against the pain. Had he ever told Kagome this? Perhaps it would have made it easier for her to understand. Not that she had ever been mean about his relationship with Kikyo. The lump raised in his throat remembering how she actually tried to protect him from the truth that Kikyo had tried to kill her, tried to protect Kikyo, to save Kikyo, and then suffered when she couldn't. Oh, Kagome. Why had he been such an idiot?

He tried to calm his ragged breath.

"Anyway, fifty years on, this other girl comes from another time five hundred years in the future and breaks the seal. She turns out to be Kikyo's reincarnation. I was pretty mean at first, tho' she didn't deserve it. I was angry…"then in a smaller voice "…hurt over the whole seal thing...and she looked a fair bit like Kikyo at first sight. I mean, how would you feel? The woman you loved betrays you and next time you open your eyes she's there, in your face, asking you to help her. So, I attacked...and ended up with subduing beads on my neck." He played with the necklace for a moment, willing the bile in his throat to go away. Kagome and her spell...gods! He'd miss even her anger!

"So, I find out Kikyo died that same day she shot me...and what can I say? I'm angry, and I'm sad, but anyway, Kagome, the girl from the future, she's given the Jewel to protect, since she's a priestess…then all these demons attack and, when she's trying to get it back she accidentally shoots it into a million pieces. Saved my life, but the Jewel was done for. So we spend all these years trying to get it all back together while the guy that killed Kikyo is making trouble for us. And to make it all better, I'm starting to fall for the new girl."

Another sharply drawn breath.

"Like I said, don't get too excited. Some mad witch brings back Kikyo to life, sticking her soul into a clay body and we find out Kagome and Kikyo share a soul. Then, to make things all the better between me and Kagome, the new Kikyo wants me to go to hell with her and I'm a fool who follows her around like a lost puppy. Kagome puts up with the whole push-me-pull-me while I'm confused as heck and trying to be there for both of them. Then there were all these times where I was lead to think Kikyo died, and each time it was harder for Kagome since I'm an idiot who can't let go of the past. She...tries to comfort me each time, being all supportive and understanding..." he swallowed thickly, feeling all the emotions swirling madly inside him "...and all I can do is hate myself for failing Kikyo and hurting Kagome. Later, Kikyo is actually killed by Naraku – the demon-man who lusted after her – and, typically, it has to happen in front of Kagome. Gods, poor Kagome. Kikyo and I have our final goodbye and I feel...for the first time, like I can _actually_ move on. And I know Kikyo's glad for me coz of that." He smiled sadly. "It took us that long but we both realized we loved each other, and we both understood that we would never be together...and the thing is, we were both okay with that..." A shaky breath escaped him. "But do I get to grieve? Do I get to go away for _one_ night and relieve the pain? No! Because the damned Naraku has other plans for us, and so we move on, and I'm so _stupid_ I can't even see that my pain is hurting Kagome too, until this demon's got me all tied up and half dead, crying tears of blood and almost lost to the world, but for Kagome. Kagome, who's hurting so much more than me, she pulls me back, she _saves_ me! And then she's still the one trying to comfort me when I'm the one who failed her, when I should be grovelling at _her_ feet for forgiveness." The scent of tears wafted to his nose. "Yeah, she cried, too. She always cried for my sake. Even tho' I didn't deserve it. Even tho' I _never_ deserved it."

He shook his head and clenched his hands trying to stop the wave of pain from drowning him.

"So...somehow we defeated Naraku, and we all still have the scars to prove it. Somehow, another year's past and I still haven't told Kagome...I haven't told her how I feel...and, anyway. One day I get hit over the head and I go down like a rock, when I wake up she tells me I've been out for over two moons, and I'd forgotten everything from my mother's death. She...she still stood by me, even then, throughout all that time. Then, I start remembering of what she said, _did_...when I was stuck acting like a little brat snivelling over his dead mother; and _still_ I can't confess. But, it don't matter. We came straight here and, now here I am." He huffed.

"So, now you know everything. Just lemme say, I will be a good mate. I know you're a pure blood, so I don't know why you're bothering with me, but anyway." He took a deep breath. "I'll never raise a hand to you, I'll protect you and any pups we may have, I'll provide for you, I'll perform my husbandly duties as is required, I'll be gentle. I'll be kind. I won't promise I'll always be calm or polite, but you can rest assured you will have nothing to fear from me. And...I will not stray – I will remain faithful to you, but in five hundred years' time I will leave you for a while. I promise you I will return, and I promise I won't betray our bond, but...you must understand...I will want to see her. Just to see her." His voice wavered.

"I will mate you, and I will live up to the role and be the mate you need, but I will not love you. We may get along, and, in time, if we're lucky, we'll become friends but nothing more. I may have been able to live and love after Kikyo, but not after Kagome. Never after Kagome. So, don't take it personally or nothin'. But, hey, we may become friends or somethin'. What I'm tryin' to say is don't feel bad if I don't act all romantic and stuff toward you. I'm sure you're real pretty and nice and all, but...you're not Kagome and I just can't...I can't...I'm sorry." He lowered his head. Thoughts of Kagome swirled painfully, constricting his heart until it felt it would burst.

"Congratulations, little brother, you are now ready for the ceremony." Sesshomaru swept royally into the room. "Rest assured your little priestess is safe." He stretched out his hand. Inuyasha gaped.

"Come now, we can act civil for the sake of your bride, can't we?"

He was too dead inside to care.

* * *

**Author's Note: Hopefully this will make sense. Thank you all for so much support and feedback~! It's really lovely to hear from each and every one of you. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to update too often, but hopefully, at some point it will happen. ^^;; Hope you all enjoy this chapter~! ^_^  
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	26. Eclipse

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters in the following story. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi.**

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**Eclipse**

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"Fine." He took Sesshomaru's hand, allowed himself to be pulled up.

"Good. A long and happy relationship to you." Sincere words fell on deaf ears. "You are doing the right thing by her."

"Shut up."

"I can see you're excited." The mask was back on. "Come now, I will take you to the garden shrine where the ceremony is to be performed."

Inuyasha just grunted. Sesshomaru gestured to the servant awaiting outside the room to take the girl to the same location.

* * *

The day was too sunny for his liking; too happy. The shrine was beautifully arranged; on a small cushion rested two small cups of sake, half-filled, glinting in the light. The bride wasn't there, and he found despite everything part of him was anxious.

"Hey!"

A blind-fold was being tied around his head.

"This union is all about trust, Inuyasha. You will go through it relying fully on your mate. After the whole debacle with the priestess who sealed you, I reasoned it's best that you have someone you can actually entrust yourself to."

"Oh, wow! That's _so_ thoughtful of you." He intoned sarcastically.

"Inuyasha, I know I have done much to earn your ire and hatred, but, just take these actions as an apology. I am not naive to think you will forget…" The words ' and forgive' hung unspoken between them. Inuyasha was left reeling.

"If you wanted my forgiveness so damn much why torture me like this?"

"You will understand, someday."

"I don't want to understand – I want to _know!_

"And you will, all in good time. Now, calm down, your bride is here. It is time."

He gulped. _Already_?

They went to the vows, the words stuck thick in his throat and he had to force them out.

All the promises, everything – he had wanted to tell Kagome but...no, this _was_ for her sake. He pledged everything to Kagome in his mind, all the while repeating empty words with his mouth. It was too much! Too much!

The sun was too warm on his face, the girl's hands too near his own, Sesshomaru's presence to close. He was going to suffocate!

The cup was pressed to his lips and he sipped tentatively three times. The drink seemed to dry his throat even more.

"The ceremony is complete." Sesshomaru announced. "I shall leave you to your devices. Your mate shall take you to your chambers. I wish a good night upon you."

He retired a bit too hastily for Inuyasha's liking. He didn't want to...to...not the way he was feeling. Still, he had made an oath, and he would have to live up to it.

With a sigh he offered his hand to his mate. She caressed it tenderly before raising it to her lips, and he couldn't help the shiver that slithered through him. Slowly, she began guiding him towards their room.

* * *

Small hands pushed him gently on the bed and began to undress him.

When the first kiss landed on his shoulder, a tremor snaked through him; the one pressed to his pulse made his heart tremble even more; but the one brushed across the spot where Kikyo's arrow had hit, broke him. All the pain from losing both Kikyo and Kagome spilled itself from blindfolded eyes.

The woman was there instantly, brushing away the tears, holding him tight, lacing their fingers together in what he understood was a gesture of comfort. He was grateful, still...

"If you do not feel well, we can wait." She whispered so softly he barely heard her.

"No...I'm fine."

He felt her head shake, still propped under his chin:

"You are anything but; and I understand – you _did_ warn me after all. Rest assured I shall not hold it against you." Her voice had an oddly familiar tone to it; and, now that she was so close to him, he could sense shy tinges of the scent he adored as part of her own.

"Your scent's a bit like hers." He blurted out.

"Indeed?"

"Yeah. If you weren't full demon you'd smell quite a bit more like her."

"Shall I be her for you, tonight, my husband?"

He blushed at her tone, her words.

"No. She didn't like to be compared to Kikyo, and I know she would not wish it upon anyone to be compared to her. Especially not by me."

He felt her smile against him. "I am quite taken with your courage, your kindness, your compassion, your sense of honour..."

"Keh! And how do you know I've got any of those?"

Her hand caressed his cheek.

"Your lissome form, your strength, your obstinacy..." She raised herself to stand over him. "...your beautiful hair..." she brushed his bangs lightly. "...your graceful hands who are as gentle as they can be harmful..." she watched his cheeks darken in colour. "...your lips that smile so rarely but when they do they make the sun shine...your nose..." she kissed the tip of it "your ears..." she heard his heart skip a beat "and...especially..." she paused for a moment suddenly feeling very shy as she reached for the blindfold " I especially love your eyes." She tugged and watched his demeanour change, from dejected to completely shocked and then to something so strong and pure it stole her breath away.

"H-how?" He mumbled before pulling her down and cradling her to himself with urgency. "Is this real?" He asked more to himself. "How can this be real?"

"It is."

"It's you? It's really you?" He paused abruptly, joy going on a sudden halt. "How do I know it's you?"

"I made you a promise to always stay by your side. I gave you a golden locket in our second year together. I am the only one who knows that you cry at romantic movies."

A relieved sigh then:

"I do _not _cry at them movies. I just had something in my eye that time."

"Whatever you say, my dear _husband_."

His lips kissed her hair over and over while he inhaled her scent.

"Gods, Kagome! I thought I lost you! I thought I'd never...never get to tell you...and you wouldn't know...you wouldn't know I love you...have loved you...for so long now. I'm so sorry Kagome."

She raised herself up once more, to look him in the eye:

"It's alright. I am in love with you too, very, very much. And there is nothing to forgive. I'm just happy, just _so _happy to be with you."

"Kagome, Kagome..." Her name broke on his lips like waves onto a shore. "I am so...I don't deserve how happy I am...I don't deserve you..."

She smoothed his bangs before scattering kisses all over his face.

"Inuyasha, you know well, I would have no other."

She watched on in wonder as his eyes began to glisten. She saw every part of him – his past self, his present self, his demon and his human – all smiling to her in perfect happiness from behind dewy eyes.

"I love you, Inuyasha. It will never change."

* * *

**Author's Note: It took me a while^^; Thank you all for continuing to read my story. I hope you all enjoy the denouement. ^_________^**

**I am very very grateful for all the lovely words and encouragement I've received throughout this journey. There may be an epilogue, depending on what time allows. Sankyuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~!!!! ^___________^  
**


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